Mistakes

[smr21, BSN]

Not sure where to start with this one, and I'm nervous to post, but here goes.

I'm a new nurse, graduated a year ago, been working since March on a CV surgical unit (step-down from CVICU). I guess I'm wondering what it was like for others during their first year or two of practice. I mostly have weeks where I feel good about the quality of my work, but the last two weeks have just been difficult. I really feel like my critical thinking skills aren't up to snuff and that I have dropped balls recently. I got a (very professional) email from one of my charge nurses the other week - I had a patient with a supratherapeutic INR, their Coumadin was cancelled for that day, but the docs did not cancel their Lovenox. I gave their Lovenox dose as did the night shift nurse that evening. That was a big error on my part, and I feel terrible about it! I should have made that connection and called to cancel or suspend their Lovenox, but I didn't catch it. Fortunately, I work on a very good and professional floor, so that was brought to my attention in a way that did not feel demeaning, but still. It shouldn't have happened and it was my fault that it did happen.

And then yesterday after I got home I had a nagging feeling that I forgot to do something, and woke up at 3am realizing that I had left a syringe of Dilaudid in my cart (!!!!) which caused a HUGE freak out moment for me. I really do not know what is going on with me right now, but I felt like things were going well and I was delivering good care and asking for help when I was unsure and now I've had these two major mistakes in the last week!

Has anyone else had experiences like this? I think I just need some help with perspective - am I not cut out to be an RN? Do I need to switch to a less acute floor? Do other people make these kinds of errors? And I can't attribute this to being on a floor with bad dynamics or a lot of cattiness - the senior nurses and charge nurses are really helpful and understanding, so I really think there is something wrong with me. I'm kind of losing it right now over this, I haven't talked to anyone at work - not because people are mean, just because I am incredibly embarrassed and scared. But if anyone out there has any experiences, thoughts or advice to share, please do so! I really love my job, but am questioning if I'm in over my head right now. Please help!

Thank you!

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

This happens. You are new. You need to think this out one step at a time.

First, deal with the dilaudid. Did you call someone or go back and do something about it?

Second, take several deep slow breaths. You are dealing with the new realities of actual nursing. You no longer have a nursing instructor, and though I'm sure you hated being graded, you also don't have that safety net. Regardless of what unit you are in, you will make mistakes so changing to a less acute setting will not help you and may hurt your chances of getting another job. Get through this.

The good news is that "this too shall pass." you will get through this if you step up your game. For everything, ask yourself "why?". If you don't know the answer, just check with an experienced RN. They've had new nurses before and can guide you. They also care about the patients.

You can do this! You made it through the nightmare of nursing school, now you can actually learn how to be a nurse! (Yes that was a joke).