Mentoring guilt!

[NotAllThoseWhoWander]

...Although feedback would be nice, this is mainly to vent and cry a little.

Sometimes my school throws the newbies onto a unit with us experienced students so we can mentor a couple of them and learn to manage. I gave all my attention to the nervous 1st one but hardly any to the (seemingly) confident one. My 2nd student began her assessment without me, knowing that I should have been there. I helped out with the last half, but I was so busy and disoriented myself that I didn't recheck what she had already assessed.

She eventually told me the abnormals she found, which I reported to the nurse, but she expressed her concerns about an HOUR after we left the room! The patient was safe and already had plenty of staff to look after her - but that doesn't make my lack of action okay. Though stable, this patient was at high risk for a GI bleed and I should've at least made sure that the vitals and abd were normal.

I did NOT prioritize well. It would have been better if I had given my 1st student a "You can do it" pep talk, entrusted her with an easy task, and taken the extra time to track down my 2nd student and reinforce my expectations of her. On the other hand, I'm pretty pissed that she didn't even try to stick around me or speak up about her abnormals.

I could hardly bear to type up the post-clinical eval. I mean, how can I criticize her actions when I did a sucky job as her mentor? Lesson learned, but I still feel sick to my stomach. And what her eval of me look like? Oh god. My only relief is knowing that the student has already learned how to assess and will be checked off like everyone else.

How will I be a good nurse if I can't even handle watching over other people's work??