Married to a nurse nearing burnout...Any Advice?

Nurses Men

Published

Hi,

I'm new to the forum here and this is my first post. Wanted to see if I could get some advice from anyone who might have been in similar situations.

My wife has 20 years of nursing experience, but really wants to get off the floor and away from direct patient care. She only has an associates, but is planning to go back to school to get her BSN.

She is going through some tough times at work where she is getting excluded from part time charge duties that she used to do without any explanation given. My reaction would be to confront my boss and ask what's up etc? Her reaction is, things aren't done that way in the hospital. It appears there are nurse "clicks" that have formed and job opportunities are not getting based on experience as much as popularity. She was passed over for a nurse educator position and the only other candidate told her she was better qualified. Again, I know how I would handle it where I work, but am told, things aren't done that way at the hospital. This is starting to really drive me nuts I have to admit as I want to FIX things or help, but when she comes home to vent she isn't looking for me to fix things, she just wants to vent. I can't stand my wife getting stepped all over, but that's what it feels like to me.

Given all the above situation, she has progressed to just hating her job and looking for ways to get off the floor or away from the unit she has been with as she feels unappreciated and excluded from the clicks, with no opportunity for advancement. She has a stellar record as a pediatric nurse, but is butting heads with a night shift charge nurse over things she says night shift should do and doesn't want to and now the charge nurse is getting promoted to be her interim manager.

The hospital has also decreased the ratio of nurse to patient ratio and not taken acuity into full account, which isn't helping. She has joined a number of boards at the hospital to gain new experience which I think is a good idea from a networking standpoint. Unfortunately even though I tell her to resign and find a new job, she is afraid it won't provide us enough money as I had to take a large paycut with my new job and money is tight. Her personality type isn't very confrontational and she trys to avoid conflict (Note: she has no problem telling me off :).

Sorry, my quick question turned into a rant.

Any advice for me or her?

I was thinking she could go back to school and get into a new career that would let her leverage her nursing experience, but have little idea what options might be available or where to look?

Sorry if this isn't the right forum, but I thought some of you might have some interesting perspectives.

Thanks!!!

anonymurse

979 Posts

All I can say is it's her license, and knowing how I feel about mine, I'd let her figure it out for herself and call the shots, and I'd listen without providing prescriptive commentary.

miss-vikki68

6 Posts

..with such a descriptive commentary its nice to see a husband take such an interest in his wifes' wellbeing..good on you.:yeah:.20yrs of nursing is a lot of experience, wisdom and knowledge to give up because of clicky groups, etc etc..why don't you suggest to your wife.....teaching....education....lecturing....im not too sure of which country you live in but here in New Zealand 20yrs almost qualifies you as professor material.:D...i know she may have to do the odd bit of study to get fully qualified but im sure it would take away a lot of unwanted pressure/stress. Sounds like her personality may suit teaching as well.......good luck....:up:

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