LVNS with ADD & 2 Concussions!!

[MuayThaiLVNS]

Hello everyone, I'm so happy to finally get a chance to post on here regarding my current situation. I have a few questions as far as what moves to make in my LVN program. I live in Orange County and have been attending a vocational school which is an accelerated program. I began my program in spring '14. I struggled in theory from day 1 due to the fast pace, yet excelled in clinicals. In term 1-2 I worked in a club around my part time schedule, only to realize my night shifts were wearing on my body and mind and I needed a traditional full time schedule, which meant moving back into my stepmom's and dad's house. I lost my independence and freedom and became very depressed as I spent hours studying each night but could barely pass my exams. Obtaining my license means more to me than anything I've ever done in my life, up till I entered school I was only working in nightclubs and very lost aside from my fitness lifestyle. I am highly gifted with patients, at times pt would assume I was an RN, but felt so embarrassed of my issues with short term memory loss, which I've had since I was born. I strive to help others as much as possible and do so well in emergency situations, yet at the same time, my instructors and students would wonder what was wrong with me. I eventually started receiving accommodations to help with deadlines on homework and time allowance on exams. I went to the tutor frequently and even quit my part time job as a kickboxing instructor. I maintained a healthy regimen of kickboxing and training muay thai 5x a week for at least an hour, which greatly helped my mental clarity. I was doing ok with a 3.5 GPA but would then slip up on a few exams and get into trouble having not passed with >75%. The way my program works, if I didn't pass a course I had to be dismissed and re-enroll into a different cohort, which meant a few grand in fees to the school and having to again get comfortable with a new cohort of people. I always felt like an alien, as people tend to think I'm a little "weird". It was a total nightmare as exams were weekly but the information didn't really sink in until after I had taken the exam, regardless of hours I spent studying. The first dismissal I suffered was in term 2 (we have 4 total) and the second dismissal happened in my 3rd term. I was doing well up until a period in my 3rd term which was a series of 3 lethal exams and when I went through a devastating break up with my Fiance; he up and left for no reason other than selfish desires. I also was in the turmoil of my dad and stepmom's divorce, which was propelled by my father's abuse and my stepmom's relapsing on meth. I am not using it as a crutch, but honestly feel had I been able to live in a different environment I would have succeeded and finished the end of term 3, as my cohort was finishing term 3 and moving on to 4. After I was dismissed the second time I became suicidal and started drinking a lot of wine, I was devastated without my Fiance and couldn't bare the thought of not becoming a nurse, as I had suffered through every day of school. I was kicked out of my stepmom's house, as she was in an insane mind state and I went on to live with family. I have been moving ever since then, trying to find a better living situation and now have moved back home in order to settle down and re-enroll in school. I have so many dreams and goals I'm in the process of accomplishing, but many of them revolve around getting my license and having stability in my life. Sometimes I feel like all I have is the fact that I'm still not married and don't have kids because I feel like a mess dealing with ADD at times and extremely alone, as people can be cruel. I'm more than a tough woman, I train hard and am determined when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. I pray, meditate 2x daily and receive reiki and acupuncture treatments when possible in order to keep my sanity throughout the unknowing of how I can re-enroll into my program, as the cost is currently much too high for my situation. I'm currenlty back to working in nightclubs and saving up to test and re-enroll in my LVN program. I don't know how I'm going to come up with the money to re-enroll in school, other than my club and modeling gigs on the side. If anyone out there has any advice or can relate in any way it would be a miracle for me! I'm currently doing all I can to keep my optimistic mindset and focused on family, yoga, wellness, eating clean and mental clarity. I am a firm believer in the power of the law of attraction and that miracles do happen, even to those of us that are struggling with ADD/ADHD, being solo and alone, being labeled as "weird" even when you're a social butterfly. Who knows where life may take us, I'm beyond grateful for the opportunities I've had in life and count my blessings daily, from having the most amazing girlfriends a woman could ask for to rare adventures I've been able to experience. I am hoping for solutions to not only my school situation, but also neurological health, as I've suffered 2 concussions in 2 years; both from MVCs and I was not at fault during either accident. I am concerned over the 2nd concussion and wonder how it will affect me in school (I'm currently in the middle of a lawsuit and receiving chiropractic care on a medical lien, as my ER/hospital expenses in this last accident were over 9 grand after triage nurse sent me for the Cat Scan.) I'm also at total loss of my vehicle and saving for a new car as well. If anyone has been through anything similar it would mean so much to me to hear from you, I more than appreciate all the positive help possible! Shanti and Shakti!! (Peace and Energy)

[WheresMyPen]

Hi there. I am so sorry that you have so much going on and I hope things settle down. Are you seeing a neurologist and/or psychiatrist? I also have ADD and I see a doctor and I take medication. It really helps me, in combination with organization skills at home as well as seeing a therapist. We can't give medical advice here but I would advise you to see an MD about these issues if you aren't already.

Despite everything going on, you need to find coping skills that work for you. Everyone is unique but I will offer my coping skills for my ADD.

Keep a clean environment. Keep your room/space clean and your car as well. This will help you be able to find things more easily, organize things more easily, and it's good for relaxation and peace of mind when things are not messy or out of order.

Get a file organizer for important papers such as taxes, receipts, bills, school stuff, work stuff, health stuff etc.

make a to do list every day. And accomplish one thing at a time, allowing yourself to finish and follow through with each task before moving onto the next.

these are just a few things that help me. I'll revisit and post more tomorrow.

dont be hard on yourself and don't give up. Life is tough and overwhelming but keep your head up. Wishing you the best xx

[MuayThaiLVNS]

I was seeing a psych during school in my 2nd and 3rd term, I miss him so much! I was prescribed Adderall and Gabapentin at times which helped tremendously, just haven't been able to afford him after my move in July. I am seeking a new psychiatrist, I was actually in the process of changing my insurance in order to do so. I am working with my lawyer in order to find a neurologist, which will be covered by my tax lien. Thank you for the tips, I happen to be a little OCD so I'm very organized physically and do use notes & reminders in my phone. I'm very responsible, but mostly have issues with memory and just do a lot of silly stuff that I don't realize. Thanks so much! It means a lot to hear of someone else's experiences

[nutella, MSN, RN]

Here is advice from somebody who grew up in terrible circumstances including poverty and abuse. By the way - I picked up martial arts later on as well ....

In my opinion, based on personal experience, it is important that you get your life into order and set yourself up for success before you attempt school or any education/professional school again. For me that meant to get out of the abuse home and find a job for a while. Since I was basically out of high school and non skilled I applied to some factory jobs because I needed stability and income. I fell into a pace of working full time and finding some friends at a place I started to volunteer. Because I was traumatized and not sure if I could survive long education I became an EMT and first aid instructor first. I also got a room mate to help with rent. I continued to work in the factory job and started to pick up EMT shifts and teach first aid. Working 40 - 50 h /week provided me with a stable enough income and also gave me a structured day. Things went well and I became a paramedic, took a fulltime position,left the factory and moved for the new job. After one year of fulltime work I met my husband and applied for nursing school and got accepted - I was 22.

I know for a fact that I would not have been able to perform well in school without going through the phase of stabilizing my life. By the way I had to cut off my family and have no contact with my parents.

My advice is to stabilize your life and living situation first before trying school again. Look for other avenues as well, consider becoming a CNA so you can work in the field and get out of working nights as working nights and nursing school is very hard or impossible for most people. Look at vocational and technical schools that are affordable once you are ready to start again. I would also suggest to see a mental health person to deal with inattention/mood/ general coping.