Lost my first RN job right before probation over and feel hopeless

[nursesuzie01]

Hello everyone. I am an RN who graduated nursing school May 2010. A week or two after graduation I had total abdominal hysterectomy with removal of both ovaries. I took some time to recover, spend some needed time with my kids and study for boards. I passed boards the first time the following November. I had a very difficult time finding a job, but after one of my previous instructors put in a good word for me at a Women's Center I finally landed that first job. I was hired for night shift but was training on days. My preceptor was only one year out of nursing school herself and seemed to have something to prove. Everytime I asked questions they were labeled as not important or totally ignored without an answer. I was told not to ask other nurses for advice or how to do things because she was my preceptor and that's how it had to be if it was going to work out. EVERYTHING I did was critisized, even the fact that I ID'd my patient's when giving them meds, even If I had been in there room several times already. When I wanted to check if IV drugs were compatable she told me not to worry about it that pharmacy checked everthing and would let us know if that were the case. Her buddy and charge nurse even critisized me for wearing my gloves too much when receiving fresh post op pts. She said "the whole glove thing was too much and bothered her." Said I was going to make my patients feel bad. I could do NOTHING right. I feel I made more mistakes out of feeling I was surely going to mess up. Well, they allowed me to go to nights and train there. I was with vairious nurses, but not following them. Always told they were my resourse person. I felt so lost. I know when I started the position I was stupid and stopped taking my anxiety meds, because I was afraid of feeling tired and that it would cause me not to reatin what I was learning. That was a big mistake as I had an axiety attack coming on shift. As if matters weren't bad enough, one night working I had four patients who needed labs drawn within the hour. I was still in the process of getting comfortable with the skill and was very slow. I was trying desperately to make the 6 am deadline. This was the first and last time I made the awful mistake of not checking my patients armband. I drew blood on the correct patient but accidentally put the lab label for a different patient on the blood and sent it to lab. When I realized what I did I notified the charge nurse and the lab. I also did an incident report and notified my manager the next morning. Even though I never gave a med without proper id, my act was inexcusable. Well, When my orientation time was up I was told needed too 6-8 wks more training and they were not willing to put the time and money into it. The manager said if I needed some experience or training before working in acute care. She said she would give me a good recommendation if I needed her to and that I could reapply on her unit after getting some experience. This was three months ago. I filled out many other apps, but feel the job loss at just short of three months has made me unemployable. I am deeply depressed and fell all my hard work and my family's sacrifice in nursing school was for nothing. Please help! What should I do?

[genwrites]

I guess it is no comfort but there are worse things that can happen than the oversight you made. I once trained on a floor where one of the nurses told me a story. She was on her orientation for the job. The head nurse begged her to cover on a floor even though she hadn't completed orientation. She was afraid to say no. There was an orthopedic patient who suddenly had a really high glucose level. He or she didn't have a PCP. The nurse called the orthopedist who prescribed a really high dose of insulin, I forgot what it was. She administered the med, then went back in the room an hour to find the patient lying stiff in the bed with eyes rolled back! Fortunately the patient made it through, but the nurse did not. She quit nursing for a whole year, but eventually went back to it and did get a job. She is one of the best nurses I ever trained with. So ultimately it is a good thing she didn't quit. Everyone makes mistakes. Your mislabelling the blood is an understandable error that can happen in a stressful situation. It does not reflect upon your nursing skills at all. Take some time to chill, then try again. All is not lost!

[nursesuzie01]

Thank you so much for your reply. I had been in such a deep depression from loosing that position. I know I have a lot to learn, but deep inside I know I truly love people and have a lot to offer the nursing profession. I have not received any calls on any more applications here in the Brandon Tampa area, but I'm not gonna give up. I'm even going to check out some of those positions in North Dakota. I want to be a nurse bad enough to relocate and my husband supports relocating as well. He says, "there are roofs everywhere." He is a roffer. LOL. Well thanks again for your response.

[Nursed87]

I would not beat myself up about this situation. There was clearly some bad judgement on the nurse managers part by giving you a preceptor who was only one year out of nursing school. That did not seem like a good fit at all. It also may have helped you if you spoke to the nurse manager regarding your concerns during orientation especially if you felt you were being criticized for everything. I am sure you will find something else. And remember you do not have to put this job on your resume. Good luck on your job hunt.