Looking for professional advice...

[dex77]

I'm about to graduate from an ADN program. I'm in a little bit of turmoil over what I should do when I graduate. I'm really passionate about working in peds or NICU. However, I'm an incredibly emotional person especially when it comes to kids. For example, I recently had observed in the ER when a young trauma patient came in. Being a student I had nothing to do to keep busy but, watch while this poor child had seizures and seemed to be deteriorating quickly. I couldn't help but come to tears seeing a child this way. It wasn't a full on sob or anything but, I was really affected by it. I had a difficult time trying to keep my emotions in check after this as well. I partially think that if I had something to do while this was going on I may have been able to hold it together better. Essentially what was going through my mind was how this poor child was probably terrified with what was going on and what the parents were going to go through when finally arrived to see their child in such bad shape. I guess this is my dilemma. I think that I would be a better nurse in peds or NICU because i'm truly passionate about it. But, this is the very thing that i'm afraid would make me terrible/miserable b/c I'm so affected by it. I'm just looking for thoughts on this or maybe some personal experiences r/t when peds nurses first started. How are you affected by it? Do you think that it's better to be unemotional? Were you like this when you started peds nursing and did you get through it/over it? I really feel that working with kids is what I got into nursing school to do but I'm worried that I'm my own worst enemy. Help!

dex

[llg, PhD, RN]

Don't confuse being "in control of your behavior" with "not being emotional." Caring is a good thing. The trick is to care enough to focus on helping the child. You don't turn your emotions off. You channel them in the direction of helping the patient.

Were you able to be effective in your peds rotation? -- or-- Did you fall apart and become unable to function? I suspect you were able to function. That's what counts.

[dex77]

I think that might be another reason that I'm having difficulty making a good judgement about it. No, I didn't have issues during my peds rotation and I was truly happy to be there. It was probably the first time that I was actually excited to get to clinical. However, I didn't have any patients during this rotation that weren't going to improve. I know I wouldn't attempt PICU or anything (NICU I could handle-it's different somehow). I know what you mean though about being in control of your behavior. I'm just not sure I have the ability to 'turn it off' once it starts coming.

[dansingrn]

The feelings and passion are what makes one a good nurse! The key is channeling all of that into what needs to be done in the moment. Although the tears don't come as often over time, the "feelings" don't stop at all. What changes is your ability to cope as you improve your nursing skills and they come more reflexive. I have found that those really hard things that make your stomach hurt and that break your heart...like watching gravely ill, frightened children and interacting with overwhelmed parents - they are somewhat easier to face as you learn how much impact you can have. When you know you have done your best, gone the extra mile to reach out to a family, well, there is a lot of satisfaction in that for the nurse. You find that satisfaction when you push just a little past the point where you are right now, and step into that very next level where you can be really "present." Yes, it definitely helps to have something you are supposed to "do." Don't feel badly that you felt the way you did with your peds patient. It takes some experiences like that to begin to learn to push through and start to focus on what you need to do.

Peds is certainly not for everyone. It sure sounds as if you would love it and would make a great pediatric nurse! I encourage you to go where your heart really leads you, and not where you are "afraid" to go because of your emotions. I assure you your emotions will "learn" to take care of themselves as you gain experience...not because you will become hardened and unaffected by patients, but because you will feel more equipped to step up and say "I can do this, I know I can help, let me take this one." And you will go home with your heart bursting all the time, with compassion for your patients, gratefulness that you could help, and pride in being a great nurse.