Looking for mentors

NurseKate · May 15, 2005

I am a 41 year old novice nurse. New Grad working in Med/Surg in a very rural 18 bed facility. So we do absolutely everything. We cover a lot of different disciplines all in one place. It can be very overwhelming and I've been thinking that it would be nice to talk to an experienced nurse about the experiences that I have been having.
So, as I was thinking about how I would like to have a mentor, I thought that I couldn't be the only one out there who would benifit from mentoring by an experienced nurse. I don't know how many of the new grads reading this feel the same way. Can we put our heads together and find or create a mentoring program within the allnurses forum pages? We have a great resourse of experience within this site. Anyone game?
Anna

Well, I have been out of school for a year and do not consider myself "experienced," but I have worked both surgical/trauma and med-surg and would be happy to be a sounding board for anyone who wants to talk. I know that the transition from student to RN is challenging (I had plenty of challenges with it), but I know we all have to be supportive of one another. So let me know if I can be of any help. Also the med-surg forum on allnurses can be used as a sounding board. People post their experiences there and usually many nurses (experienced and new) reply and offer support when needed.

I think your idea is great. Let me know if I can be of any help.

RNAnna · May 16, 2005

Thanks for the reply nursekate. I think the first year is the hardest. There are so many things to master, and absorb that the first few months feel overwhelming. Let's not forget about all the different people that you have to meet and work with; all the different personalities.

I remember one pm I went in to work and there was a woman who was admitted who was not expected to live through the night. In report, the charge nurse decided, "Let's give her to Anna. She needs to learn the paperwork". What I learned is the marked devision of emotion between being in the room with the family and being at the desk getting all of the paperwork done. I kept thinking "The first one is the hardest". But I'm finding that all of the DNRs are difficult. We have two rooms specifically devoted to hospice. The hospice pts are not quite as difficult for me since they have chosen that route.

Other issues are difficult for me as well. I am trying to learn as much as I can so that I can put the whole clinical picture together in an effort to provide the best care that I can. I don't know how long that will take, but I feel like I am working a jig saw puzzle with a couple of pieces missing.

Do these feelings ever go away and do you ever feel confident? Is there some magical point when you feel that you truely know what you're doing? And how do you master paperwork? There are times when we don't have a ward clerk and we have to do that job as well as our own. I'm not sure I'll get that one. Is there a time when you stop dreaming about work?

Anyway, thanks for the support. Feel free to PM me anytime. Thanks again.

Anna

NurseKate · May 16, 2005

Hi Anna:

I read your reply and kept thinking, "I felt that way, " or "I still feel that way" while reading it. When I first graduated I wanted to be Superwoman (and sometimes I still strive for that). I want to know everything about my patient, do everything perfectly, and manage all the paperwork, etc. At times I find myself wanting to be the best nurse my patient ever had (ok, that's unrealistic, but I want to do a good job). Is all of that realistic? No. Am I Superwoman? Definitely not! I continue to struggle with the paperwork and many times don't know the right thing to do or say to a patient who is dying, upset, etc. I still have a lot of questions I need to ask my nursing supervisor or other nurses on my floor. There were so many things that I didn't get to experience during my orientation, but had the challenge of dealing with for the first time while I was "on my own" (e.g. patient dying, patients "gone bad," etc). It definitely is challenging when these situations arise, but I ask for help because there is no way I can guess my way through these things. Then the next time that situation arises I will be more prepared, have a wider knowledge base, and will ask for help if I need some more.

When I took the NCLEX it seemed so easy to pick out "This is the right thing to say to someone out of these four choices," but it's harder in real life when you don't have four choices in front of you to pick from. Every day is a learning experience. As time goes on things get a little easier. Even though DNR patients will still bother you, you learn how to care for them a little better each time. I think that's good that you aren't emotionally blunted like that other nurse was who saw the dying patient in terms of "paperwork." Just remember when your patient dies you know that he or she had/has you as a caring nurse. Know that you have tried your hardest to make him/her as comfortable as possible. Their death may not be "perfect" like you had hoped for the patient, but you tried your best. Afterward you can ask yourself, "What would make this better next time I am in the same situation?" I think it's so very important to re-evaluate our practice so we can make improvements (but don't be too hard on yourself!). Does your unit let you "debrief" after someone dies or when a stressful situatioin occurs? If not, it's important to make sure you can debrief afterward...to talk about the situation with someone after it happens so you aren't wondering what the heck happened, etc. It gives you time to get your emotions straight.

When you feel like you're unsure of what's going on with your patient, asking questions is the best way to start finding the missing piece of the puzzle. Some doctors are really great about teaching and answering questions. If you have a Clinical Nurse Specialist, then ask him or her questions! Here are a few suggestions that have worked for me:

I take a book with me called Lippincott's Pocket Manual of Nursing Practice. I rather like it, but there are so many books out there that may suit your needs better. I have the book near me so when I am getting report I can look things/conditions up that I am unfamiliar with. It clues me in to areas I should focus my assessment on and possible complications, as well as patient teaching. When I have time I read the patient's History and Physical to get a better understanding of the current illness and past medical history. Sometimes looking up lab values in a lab book is helpful as well because it gives the explanation as to what could be an underlying factor in abnormal labs. Of course I am saying this to you as if you have all the time in the world to sit and look things up. I know that in the real world the unit can be chaotic and you may not have a chance to sit down at all! I recommend trying to look things up here and there when you have some time. That way the next time you get an abnormal lab you will already know what could be causing it...or when a patient reports an unusual pain you can know if it's a complication of the disease or procedure. Just a a suggestion, of course.

You will gain more confidence as time goes on. There isn't really a magical point. Some nurses I work with say they felt confident after a year. Some have been working on the unit for 5 years and say they still don't feel confident. I feel confident about some things (like NG tubes and central lines) and not-so-confident about others (the list goes on and on). Each day though is a new learning experience. I worked last night and was faced with a few new challenges (cardiac related, ehich scares me to death). I did not feel confident but I asked other nurses a lot of questions, called the doctors, and got through it all. Now when I am faced with similar situations in the future I will feel like I know a little bit more.

If you start dreading going into work or are having extreme anxiety about it then you may want to consider going into an area that fits you better or that you like better. Don't destroy yourself in an area that you hate! There's nothing wrong with saying, "This isn't right for me. I need to switch." Sounds like you are giving it your all. Just be aware of how work is affecting your life. Sometimes I dream about work, but that has subsided a bit.

Someone once told me that "When you start to do things automatically and not think or be cautious in what you are doing...it's time for you to get out of nursing." You can't be complacent in nursing because that can easily lead to trouble. Sounds like you are continuing to learn the ropes, have normal concerns and fears, and are doing a great job in trying to improve upon your nursing practice. I commend you for seeking out advice, help, and support from others. If I were a patient in your hospital I'd feel comfortable having you as a nurse because you're aware of your limits and you really care. You don't have to "know everything." It's ok to tell a patient, "I don't know" when they ask a question, but important to say, "but I will find out the answer for you."

Feel free to PM or email me with any concerns or questions. I hope my long stand on the soap box here has helped in some way. Best wishes! :)

grinnurse, RN · May 16, 2005

RNanna this sounds like a great idea to me. We suggested this sort of thing for NS as well b/t the freshman/sophomore classes.

I will be starting work soon and I don't want to look like a total idiot out there with things that I don't know. Especially in front of co-workers. Would love to find someone on the boards that would just be there for me to ask all the stupid questions that I know I am going to have the first year.

I will keep my eyes open for any takers for the job.

Thanks for the suggestion and I hope you get something going on here with it!!

Goldenhare · Aug 19, 2011

I guess this is an old thread, but I too am looking for someone to bounce things off of; things I don't dare ask at work-I've learned the hard way. Please email me if you think you might be willing to let me 'pick your brain'. Thanks!