Long time addict, Short time as RN in Alaska, Want back on track

[ugrl]

I have been a drug abuser in one form or another since I was 15, I am 30 now and have been clean for 2 years. I have wanted to be a nurse since as far back as I can remember. I got my BSN straight out of high school, and by that point my drug of choice was heroin. I was a user all through school as I am an excellent student and would use methadone when I had clinicals in school and subsequently while I worked as a nurse. The entire time I thought I would be able to quit on my own, I knew I needed help, but I didn't want to mess up my career. I never diverted, I had 2 different lives, one as a street junkie and one as a professional nurse. I worked for two years before the nurses on my floor caught on, I was given a drug test and sent home on paid leave. The hospital was extremely supportive and I went through their treatment program, which is very expensive, but since I was still technically employed I got a discount and I had insurance. Well me being an addict for as long as I had and this being my first treatment I screwed up and got kicked out of the only treatment program in Alaska that even knows how to help addict nurses get back on track one week before I was to begin working again I realize now that I wasn't ready though. There are no programs, support groups or anything that I have been able to find up here for nurses. That treatment center wanted me to go to inpatient in Oregon which is $26,000 a month which was out of the question. I went to a state run inpatient for 90 days, and wanted to go back to the first treatment center for follow up care since they are the only ones who seem to know how to get a nurse her license back and they refused, I had one relapse there while other nurses who had alcohol problems showed up drunk numerous times and never got kicked out, which I feel is unfair. I stayed clean for a year trying to figure out the system and ended up back on heroin. I tried a few other treatments and have been in a program that I like now for a year and I feel like I am in a way better place and have no cravings for drugs and I want to get back into nursing even if it means years of urine tests and counseling and limitations on my license. I feel like I have no where to turn though. The nursing board offers no advice and is very hard to get a hold of. I was a very good nurse a got great reviews when I was working. I wonder if anyone else here has dealt with the Alaska Board of Nursing. I'm considering moving to another state since so many of them seem to have programs to help addict nurses. I just don't know what to do. If anyone has similar experiences I'd love to hear them. It also feels good to get my story out here in a place that seems safe to tell it. Thank you