Long journey back: possibly returning to former workplace

[Name9335, BSN, RN]

Hello all! Looking for some nurse managers/hiring supervisors for feedback.

I have posted my story before but here is the VERY short story.

New grad graduated in May 2017. Started in July at a 325 bed teaching hospital on their neuro med surg unit. Loved it, but after awhile, was being told I was not making enough progress. I was there till end of October and forced to resign before orientation ended.

Shortly afterwards, started on call at a local nursing home..... really didn't want to work at a nursing home, but I needed a job and I liked the staff. Started there middle of November.....

Desperate to get back to the hospital, I applied and was accepted to the smaller hospital across town in one of their med surg units. Still on call at the nursing home.....

Again, things seemed to go really well at first and I loved it, but shortly after my first review, I was again told I wasn't making it. I was heartbroken. I gave all I could to the job, but it wasn't enough. I again resigned. I was there from beginning of December to end of January.

Both of these hospitals were "new grad programs"

I went part time at the nursing home, then as soon as full time opened, I went full time. I have been full time since February.

I think the biggest issues that the hospitals had was time management and my reaction to stress/being overwhelmed and showing that to the patients and their families. When I get stressed/ bad time management, I can get animated and "flustered" with families, patients and fellow staff. I know I still need to work on this, but I am getting better at recognizing it! Any advice for nipping this behavior in the butt? More advice for time management? I feel like some days I got it figured out, then others....

As much as I love my residents and my coworkers and management. I am still desperate to get back to the hospital.

I am considering going back to the original hospital sometime in the spring/summer. I know I'm not emotionally/mentally ready yet. I know there is more work for me to do with my time management and stress reactions, but I guess my question is, do I have any hope of going back?

What are some more ideas of what I can work on/prepare to go back?

I am both THRILLED and PETRIFIED with the possibility, but I know I don't want to do LTC for the long term.

Any thoughts?