LD nurse that never had children or vag birth

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Many LD nurses on my unit are young, some unmarried and don't have children. They get offended when a patient or family member remarks that they've never been through childbirth. I can attest that these nurses are excellent! The same goes for a few nurses that I know that have only given birth via c-section. They have never "pushed". They, too, are very knowledgeable and great LD nurses! What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel that nurses without personal childbirth experiences are not as "connected" with their patients? Do you feel that personal experience is necessary/helpful?

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Specializes in nursing education.

Can a person without diabetes be a diabetes educator? Can you be a good dialysis nurse without having experienced kidney failure? What about hospice nurses? (hmmmm.) Just some things to think about...

I have given this idea a lot of thought. I worked in med surg/oncology for a long time. No, I don't think it was necessary to have undergone a major bowel surgery to have cared well for those patients, or had chemo, or any of those things.

Patients do make assumptions about their caregivers. We can't take it personally. Getting offended is the wrong response.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I have pts ask me all the time if I have kids, were they lady partsl or c/section, or if I breastfed. I think, most of the time, people just want to know that on some level we can relate to them. None of the above (kids/no kids, lady partsl/c-section, breast/bottle) are character flaws in either direction, but some people just need some reassurance that they're not alone in whatever. They want to know that you (or I) can somehow relate to what they're dealing with. I don't think it means the pt thinks that nurse is a bad nurse.

Most of the time I hear this when I'm holding a c/s patient's hair out of her face while she throws up, or while I'm getting her up for that oh-so-slow first time. "Do you have kids? Were any of them born by c/section?" Meaning (it seems, anyway) "Do you have any idea what I'm going through?" My usual answer (with some variations depending on the situation): "I haven't had any c/sections, and I have a lot of respect for moms who do, because it's a lot to deal with, and you're doing a great job."

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I was in L&D for 5 years before I had my first and it made no difference in the care my patients got before/after I gave birth personally. It annoyed me if the family made a comment but they were few and far between. The only difference I see is that now some of the moms will ask me what worked best for me, did I like the shower/tub, did I get an epidural ect.

Also I always had sympathy when a mom had a forceps delivery but now since I had forceps with my second, I wince when I see that on the board because there is nothing like the insane amount of pressure that comes with a forceps delivery.

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Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.

I had been a labor nurse for 12 years before I had a baby, and I had an unplanned c-section. I think I'm a good nurse, and I think I was a good nurse before I had a baby. Maybe I notice some things more after birth than before, like making sure to change linens for someone with broken water A LOT because sitting in a puddle sucks, but I haven't changed the bulk of my practice. I taught childbirth classes for years before I delivered, too. On my class evaluations, now I get positive remarks about sharing my personal story, but I have always gotten overwhelmingly positive evaluations. One of the best nurses in our unit is retired and has returned to work per diem. She has never had a child and she was never married, but she's an amazing L&D nurse and I would let her care for me any time.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PACU.

Hmm..do they ask the guys nurses that lol I had the guys as my nurses with my labors lol

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