Is There a Support Group Out There For Us?

[seasonedlpn]

I've been in Hospice since 1977...in my current Hospice position for 5 years. I know my job, and I love it. But, lately, I've had a few patients that have really "gotten" to me; the ones I can't leave at the job. I start to look back at others I've encountered over the years, and a dark sadness begins to overcome me.

I suppose some of it is survivor's guilt, so many much younger than I; some are just so overwhelmingly difficult to see that I'm surprised I don't have nightmares. There are days I can't get the smell of the wounds out of my nose...other days I question my approach. Is there an online support group for us?

My significant other has PTSD from 2 tours in the Gulf...I found a support group for him, it's really helped....but for myself, I feel lost.

I'm 64 years old, and not ready to retire. Hospice is all I wanted to do from the first day I found it. My former employer offered a monthly peer group, it was nice. This employer has discussed starting one, but it hasn't come about as yet.

Any help from my fellow nurses is welcome.

[finn11707]

Look within and find what your heart is telling you. There is something to heal. You have a kind and gentle nature, it sounds--perhaps you are especially sensitive to feeling other's suffering.

I believe many nurses feel they have 'come home' when they find hospice work. We know the work is profound and there is something deep to learn from the dying. We finally arrive at a place where it is all so simple and clear.

It does hurt to witness loss and grief on a daily basis. It is so important to learn how to personally grieve our losses.

Our chaplains where I work have given a gift of 2 'ceremonies' each year to help us honor our patients and our selves--what we give and what our patients have given us. I know for me it lifts some of the sadness I carry when, in this ceremony, I am asked to honor the strength and knowledge given to me by the patients special to me personally. The ceremonies are in candle light, with poetry, silent periods and a blessing of our hands. There is a memory tree on which we can tie a note to someone important who died. During a 5 minute period, we softly speak the names of those we have cared for who died. It is quite healing. I have learned to incorporate a version of this ceremony into my own 'personal' acknowledgment ceremony- with patients and families as the last transition begins. It really does help me to say goodbye and let go.

We also have an annual hospice retreat which is planned usually by the MSWs and chaplains. At times, it seemed more like an opportunity to give us more inservice on hospice. But the last couple retreats have focused on our work of journeying with our patients and how it impacts us.

Perhaps you manager would agree to adding some supports of this kind too.

Please know you are in my thoughts.

[shrinky]

HAve been in Hospice for 8 years and have those periods of ups and downs. I have had a few pediatric patients that got to me and found support from our MSWs and my peers. We have grief support quarterly for the staff, sometimes just a fun day together. We use humor a lot but also pray a lot and hug a lot. We have an extremely important job that we do but also takes an emotional toll so we have to find the right balance in our private life. Those were wonderful suggestions and I might show them to our staff if you don't mind. God bless you both and thank you for the work that you do.:redpinkhe