Is there anything I can do??

[nursetwobe]

I posted this in another thread too but I need some advise. I am 26 and married. I dove into this BSN 2 years ago and this is my first year full time. I am taking 18 credits plus clinical in my sophmore year. I only have time to work on the weekends and that doesn't help with my homework. My husband and I have bills that pretty much work with only 2 incomes. He is so anal about paying bills on time and is being so mean about this all. He has been depressed for 3 months because he sees no hope for this to work out and is at his wits end. I have done what I can, we got a roommate by my suggestion, I have applied for private loans and student loans...all of them denied. I work on the weekends which seems to me and other students like impossible to pass...I keep a positive attitude and try to explain how this will help us in the future and explain why it would be stupid to drop out now. I don't know what to do anymore. He won't listen to any suggestions anymore or reasoning because he is completely stressed and depressed. I don't know what to do. I feel like this is breaking our marriage. I don't want that but I know this is best for our future and I really have a strong compassion and committment to become a nurse. I have applied for scholarships and got 2 but they don't even cover my tutition. What can I do? Is there hope for me and our marriage? I have been in tears over this.

[phoenixfire]

There are lots of things you can do, but one thing you shouldn't do is give up! Where there is a will, there is a way, and you can find it if you are willing to work for it. There are lots of wives in the nursing program, and many of us have gone through something similar. One of the first steps that you can take is to sit down and go through your bills with your husband. Are there any places where you can 'trim a lil fat' off your budget? Could you do without cable tv, or extra cell phone minutes, eating out, or buying new textbooks instead of used ones? Are the premiums on your car insurance or life insurance reduceable by upping your deductible? Look for places in your finances where you can trim down. Then figure out whats left, and if you can manage it.

For school, try used textbooks. There are lots of great websites that sell used books way cheaper than the school. What about an externship? Are there any available at your school? Find out if any of the local hospitals are willing to provide tuition assistance in return for agreeing to work for them after you graduate.

A last resort might be transferring to a school with cheaper tuition. Nursing school transfers are difficult, but can be done. Also, talk with some of your instructors, and let them know you are having financial difficulty. They may have some ideas.

As far as your husband goes, a lot of men (in my experience) deal with stress from financial issues, especially if their wives are in nursing school! Remind him that you two are a team, and that you can do this together. Ask him what he thinks you should do, and then listen. Its important that you work together to meet your goals. But whatever you do, don't give up! YOU CAN DO THIS!

Good luck!