I'll never be famous

[NurseRJ88]

Tonight I sat bedside on the floor and held a patients hand because her pain med hadn't kicked in and She was restless. I used her name at first but I realized she was calmer when I called her grandma. So I sat there on the floor for 20 - 30 minutes and held her hand and combed her hair with my fingers until she calmed down. I left the room in tears because I felt so bad for her and that I couldn't do more. The next time you get mad at a nurse remember this we love your family members too. Most of us carry their pain with us. While you're there we aren't going to interrupt your time. We spend 40+ hours a week with them, how could we not grow to care for them or love them? I don't understand how people don't get attached. I care for each one of my patients like I would my family. Some days I spend more time with certain patients than others, that's how it goes. Our hearts break when a patient declines. Or when we've done everything we can do and the patient is still restless, declining, or in pain. And we still come back for that next shift where a family member will most likely yell at us, a patient probably too, and a patient or several will probably hit/bite/spit/grab us. We probably will barely have time to go pee or grab something to eat. Forget having a full consecutive 30 minutes. Because we have to hook up a patient to dialysis and that takes 30 minutes because we're understaffed and you're the only one that's trained. All that being said and, all the days even I have my doubts I should have chosen nursing, I still wouldn't trade being a nurse for anything. Because at the end of the very long day I know I've made a difference. Even if it was just for a scared confused Alzheimer's patient who won't remember it tomorrow. I will, and I won't forget her. Even with all the loss we see we are blessed enough to get to hear some of the most extraordinary stories and meet some of the most beautiful souls. So if that means I cry occasionally because I feel so much for my patients I'm okay with that because I am making a difference in their lives for the better. My name won't go down in history or anything and I'll never be famous, I'll just be that nurse who always tried to do her best for her patients.