I Wonder Sometimes

[ladnewnurse]

I have been out of school since December, and sometimes I wonder if I'm really learning anything. I work night shift, of course, and I have some pretty excellent support nurses. There are some that have been in nursing for a lot of years who are always willing to help me. I work in the med-surg area of a small hospital. I did this because during school, they urged us to work this area for at least 2 years so that we could get the basic skills down really well before we specialized. I wonder though, am I really learning anything here? I also am low man on the totem pole and work the most sporadic shifts ever. I work three 12 hr shift in a work week, but who knows what days of the week they may be. I feel like I'm not making much headway and not only that, but I'm exhausted all of the time. I slept the entire day away today & that is very unlike me. I thought when I got out of school I would develop a routine...you know not be exhausted all the time. I have less to do now and I'm more tired it seems like. I also drive an hour to the hospital that I work at because it is a really good small hospital and they came to me for the job that I have, this is exhausting. I don't know if this is just what I expect as the newest grad in the unit or if they are kind of taking advantage of me.

Sometimes I get pretty discouraged, sometimes due to the people I follow, sometimes because I feel like I ask an endless string of questions to my charge nurses. Am I really learning or am I making now progress...sometimes I don't know. I really love what I do, but I WORRY so much about whether or not I am going to be good at what I do. Everybody says that this is normal during the 1st year after graduating, but really. Sometimes I doubt myself so much, and because of this, sometimes I find myself wishing to not go because I'm so afraid that I'm going to do something wrong! When do I get to start feeling adequate at what I do? :icon_roll

[SweetLemon]

They only way you are going to learn anything new is if you decide to take the initiative and make it happen. Ask questions about the things that interest you, do the research and push yourself.:heartbeat

As far as moving into a specialty, if you know what you want to do and they are willing to hire you as a new-er grad I say go for it. I think their is some truth in the philosophy that all nurses should have a few years of med-surg under their belt before they go off and specialize but I don't think that those who don't choose to are any less of a nurse. The majority of specalties you can choose from will still teach you a lot of the same principles you would learn where you are at, it will more then likely just be accelerated on a higher learning curve. And if you choose a speciality that is less technical (ie psych) remember you can always go back to med-surg later on in your career. No rule that states only new grads can start off on a med-surg floor. Do what makes you happy and wanting to get up and go to work in the morning. Good Luck!