I survived!!! New preceptor, off orientation!!

[ChinupBSNRN]

Wanted to give everyone a little update!

Some of you may remember a few months ago when I was in a very sad place as a new nurse. Horrible preceptor, completely emotionally and physically spent, and gave my job my resignation. I was called by my 2 managers and asked to stay, given a new preceptor, and I decided to give it a second try.

And I am glad I stayed!

My new preceptor turned out to be a GODSEND!!!! She was absolutely fabulous. Yep she was tough....but in a positive and good way. She taught me so much. I learned more from her than I could have ever fathomed. She helped me learn the policy and protocol, standards of practice, and how to find my comfort zone in my daily routine. She pretty much turned me loose to care for my 2 ICU pts each shift, but would always double check and remind me of stuff if I needed it. She helped me find my confidence again. She had no knowledge of what happened with my first preceptor, but I can say she unknowingly picked up the pieces of my shattered confidence and self esteem and helped me put myself back together. I 100% owe her for helping me become the nurse I am today.

3 weeks before I was scheduled to come off orientation, I was told I had to go to days. Days were short staffed, nights were over staffed. No seniority RN wanted to make the switch to days. So, myself and another new grad were sent to days. I was nervous and scared. I had never worked a dayshift on my unit. I knew very few people. I was leaving the comfort zone of having my preceptor there to help me if I needed it. But, I realized that while the paycut was unfortunate, going to days may be a better schedule for me. I oftentimes felt kind of crappy when I drove home at 8am. Sleep seemed easy some days, and others I was lucky to get 4 hours of sleep. I never saw my friends or my family due to a flip flopped sleep schedule. I was exhausted on my days off. So, I began to see the forced move to days as a good opportunity.

2 weeks ago I went to days. Had 2 days of orientation. First day, shift change, my patient coded. We got him back only to have him pass away later on in the shift. Those 2 days of orientation were INSANE! You name it, it happened on the unit. Unbelievable crazy stuff. Like, I double checked the calendar to see if it was a full moon! I learned really quickly though how nice, helpful, and polite day shift co-workers are! I finished my last 2 orientation days and prepared to officially do this on my own. I felt better! I was sleeping way better than I ever imagined. I felt awake driving home at night. The comraderie of the dayshift staff was like a breath of fresh air!! After those 2 days of orientation, I knew days was the best place for me. I counted my lucky stars that I was forced to go to days. It was the second best thing, behind my new preceptor, to happen at my new job.

I have finished 4 months at my new job.. I have been off orientation and going solo for a few shifts now. No more preceptor, no more nights....it seems surreal! I am finding my place on my unit. I have my flow and rhythm down pretty good. Still get flustered when curve balls are thrown at me, but I am coming into my own. I have completed 4 out of 8 check offs so I can take higher acuity patients, and will complete the other checkoffs by December. It seems like I started this job a million years ago, yet it also seems like yesterday when I walked on the unit bright eyed and so ready for the challenge. I can say the beginning was so so so tough. So many days when I just wanted to throw in the towel and give up. Heck, I almost did give it all up. I am still mad at myself for letting my old preceptor get to me like she did. She is still very cold and rude with me. I just ignore her unless I have to deal with her. Thankfully she is still on nights, so I rarely have to deal with her. She pretty much went out of her way to stay away from me when I was still on nights. Of course, her close buddies on night shift treated me pretty crappy for her, but hey, karma will get them someday. I just kept my head up and perservered.

Everyone here was so supportive when I was in my darkest moment as a new grad. Just wanted to say thank you to all of you who sent a kind word and lifted me up when I needed it the most. And to others who are in the shoes I walked in a few months ago, I promise, this will pass! Being a new grad is the hardest thing I have ever done, (well, second to surviving RN school!) but it truly does get better. Thanks everyone for helping me grow into the RN I have always wanted to be!:redbeathe

[poopprincess]

That is great!!! Congratulations and I am super happy to hear that you are coming into your own. I'm glad your managers realized that they were about to lose a great nurse and took the time to remedy the situation. It's nice to read positive posts on here. Wishing you the best... :)