I feel like a PHONY

[LauraMT]

I just had a week off of my job on the nightshift on a very busy ACU because my husband was out of town and I had no childcare. Tonight was supposed to be my first night back but I called in because my Daughter and I have been sick with a really nasty cold and I felt like I needed one more day. Plus I hate to leave a sick baby. Also, my last scheduled day I scored an LCD and had just had a few days off. So I have weaseled out of work since the 5th.

Anyway, I keep thinking--maybe I shouldn't go back. And of course I will, but I still wonder.

I've been working since the end of June but I still feel like a big phony. I work on a busy ACU floor. We have lots of post-opens and a healthy sprinkling of mechanical hearts and transplants. I am terrible at reading EKGS--especially 12 leads, make sure I have it right side up if you ever see me trying to read one--and the emergency orders are a mess in my brain. Thank god for the monitor techs. If I'm ever the first one to a code I feel like that person will be as dead as a doornail before I figure out what the heck is going on. I passed the dysryhythmia test and the emergency procedure test, but that was while I was sitting minding my own business in the library. No one's life depended on me. And I'm starting to get MORE scared because almost all the nurses on my shift are pretty new and there is no one to run to for help. If the one nurse with experience is sick we are in trouble. Tomorrow I am supposed to precept someone too. And she's going to know more than me, so THAT should be pretty embarrassing.

Well, poor sick baby just passed out (ok, she's 3, but she's my baby), so I'm going to crack open the EKG book so I can feel better. At least I'm TRYING to learn!

[Angel816]

I know how you feel I worked on an Telemetry unit for 6 mths and than ICU for awhile and was scared because EKG's are not my friend, I have just started using this program online it is called Skillstat Learning @ http://www.skillstat.com/ECGMore.htm and it is free you can download it and it is really nice to follow and I have learned alot I hope it will help you. Le me know if I can do anything else for you, I am trying dig=fferent things also so I will keep you informed too. GOOD LUCK:nurse:

[Kendra87]

Please don't feel that way. For some people it just takes a little more time. Nursing is not an easy job. Period. I'm sure you need to give yourself a little more credit. Sometimes, we're our own worst critics. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Just keep the books cracked. You'll be fine. And if you still need help, find someone you admire and adpot them as your personal mentor. Stay strong!

[Spatialized]

You're not a phony. Straight up. No one who can get through nursing school, pass the NCLEX and land a job in a high-aucity unit could be considered a phony. Green? Yes. Phony? No.

It takes time to find your "flow" and feel comfortable working. It's not something that comes quickly or easily...just like nursing school. It also sounds like you've got a little extra going on in your personal life so that probably spills into your professional life.

Now, EKGs. First thing, don't worry if it is "idiopathic wide-complex tachycadia with ectopic foci" (yes, totally made up), know that it is not normal. Then go from there. Now, knowing something doesn't look right on monitor, go look at your patient. Are they having issues? Then go from there.

I've been working on a high-acuity cardiac floor for over a year now and finally feel that I at least have a decent grip on what is going on. Even if you have very few experienced RNs on your floor, there is strength in numbers. Sometimes, even if no one has more than a year or two, combine several together you've got a pretty good amount of knowledge and perspectives. Past that, find someone to be a mentor to you.

Stay strong, keep your head up and you'll do great Keep those books open though!

Cheers,

Tom