How to stay focused when dealing with a controlling family member

[otilika]

As a newbie I had a recent experience that made me feel that I suck at my job, and that I need to improve my ability to focus on the job, rather than get manipulated by controlling family members.

Sorry, but I feel the need to vent. Just had a patient with a poor prognosis whose family member is extremely involved in pt's care at home. The family member has the reputation of being very peculiar, expecting perfection and nothing else, and being very vocal when things weren't done up to their expectations. they state that if we did our jobs well (they mean perfectly), we'd be able to keep their loved one around for a long time (difficulty coping). For a while I was trying to be compassionate and also trying to preserve some service satisfaction. I tried to be as good as I could with my care and spent A LOT of time addressing this patient's needs, even the not-urgent ones. Knowing that I was under the microscope created great stress for me, which made me lose confidence and focus when performing certain interventions for this patient. My other patients got less of my attention, even if they needed it more.

How can i learn to be compassionate, but also not get manipulated by extra involved family members? At all times during the interaction with the family I had the feeling that if I didn't do things by their requests, they would look for ways to get in trouble (being a new RN I know I am not 100% perfect, and if they wanted to, they'd find ways to get anyone in trouble). Any suggestions?