How to do acute nursing after psych? Sorta new nurse.

[Neurotic Student]

I've been orienting in M/S for 4 weeks now on nights, and I don't feel like I'm getting up to speed as the others hired in my group. I'm in a new grad group despite not being a new grad. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but I do that to know where I need to be at in my progress.

I've got 2 more weeks to go. I want to know how I should be doing this to get up to speed. I relocated and brought all my books with me but the book is just too much and it's different in the hospital. The book doesn't tell me that I need to walk my pt on the day post lap appy, that his diet should be clear liquids after sx, and that I should notify the MD in this case and what orders I should expect or ask for. The book info tells you to notify MD if IV infiltrates but I noticed that a nurse just discontinued the IV and started a new one. It's like reading the book only indirectly helps 50%-60% of the time. When I'm getting report, I don't really ask any questions because honestly, I don't know what to ask. I don't know what significant questions I should ask. The person giving report is usually already giving the standard info (dx, hx, code, IV fluids, accuchecks, etc.). They talk so fast that I'm scrambling to write it down and don't have time to comprehend what I was told, but I write excessive info because I don't want to not write something down and later forget it, or I'm writing down something I didn't understand so I can look it up later.

I admit initially I am mentally slow due to anxiety and doubts but physically I can move fast. That doesn't help though when my thoughts are paralyzing me physically. I don't think I am a dumb person but I'm not exceedingly brilliant either. When the tasks due keep piling up continually, I lose sight of what's important to monitor about my pts (e.g. I didn't want meds to be late, then pts asking for pain meds, then lots of documentation, and then I forgot to monitor 2 of my pts's urine output and one of them turned out to have oliguria and had standing orders for fluid bolus.)

I relocated for this job and I want this to work. It has to. I was confident that I would make it in my initial weeks but now doubt is setting in. Now I often question myself if I will make it, even though I somewhat think I can. These thoughts are becoming invasive and affecting me on my days off. I feel like I'm 2 steps back from being on edge, but not quite there yet thankfully. I'm not at that stage where I cry, but I want to make myself cry as a release just because I feel so uncomfortable everyday. I never feel well rested but I have no problems falling asleep. I just have problems waking up.

What do you recommend I do to enhance my progress? Or even some reassurance. Please help. Thanks.