Help

[redknight]

OK. Can I get some advice as to what to do with myself. Here is my story. I`m`in my late 50 `s any I had always wanted to further my medical career. I`ve held a parmedic lic. even before they were issued when I got out of the Navy in 72.I had returned to home in 1980 from Fla. due to a family illness.Igot married and have stayed here since. Had children and nursing school got out off. I work as a phleb for a large co. for 18 years and the last three while doing nursing school on a weekend/night program. I finished and passed my boards just about a year ago. My first job was a Sub Acute unit with 28 pt. and it scared the crap out of me due to having to pass meds with in two hours. As hard as I tried mistakes were made due to the over whelming time frame. Now mind you the mang. their never beat me down and was very supportive, saying that it would get better. It was me who had issue with it. I was scared for that lic I worked for so hard and more importantly the Pt. So, I got an offer at a local Hosp. to go to the ICU and that I would get a great prec program. Well did that crap in my face. I get prec. from a school of nursing and all they can do is treat me like I`m a nursing student and complain about my time priority of making pt. beds and bathing. Then wounder why I can`t get done on time. I have them cont checking on me and then when it came to the end of the day and I`m doing document work they`ve bolted out the door. So the deal that sealed it for me was when I`d be staying like an hour later to finish the documentation. They would not pay me for that time with the mang. saying that I need to finish with in my 8 hour shift and she dosn`t pay for overtime. So I left after only 2 1/2 months. We both agreed that it was not a good fit, and there was no bad feelings My next venture was that I found by chance a diaylsis clinic 5 min. from my house and that they were looking for nurses and very willing to tain. I took the job and spent like 3 weeks in a class room setting. The instructor was very nice and supportive. Did nothing but, talk of the support that you would recieve and the time that the clinic would give you. OK now this is working for me. 4-10 hour shifts no Sundays every night off. 5min. from home this was souding sweet. Finally get to my home clinic and I`m hooked up with a sr. PCT who`s been at this since dawn. But, after about a month and a half she transfers to another clinic and now its fend for youself. The techs were great at helping me with all the tech work that is done, but remind you have`nt touched a single nurse job and its been over 3 months at this point.Well the mang lets go a PCT who has made a HIPPA violation and now the clinic is down two PCT`s. You got it who stays on working as PCT? Me! Here comes my first written warning for missing a safty lock, with also, not being up to speed with handling a full team of 4 pts.So I`m extened an other 30 days from my 90 day eval.Well, it becomes a joke with the other techs as to me being called into the princeples office. Well the I get written up for not maintaining a prof. distance with the staff because I discuss with them what I had done wrong. I know keep your mouth shut, but I`ve got nothing to hide I make a mistake, Imake a mistake. I`m human. That brings us to this point and time. Last week I get a final written warning because 1. I had laughed when a pt. who has mental issues made a coment to one of the male techs about having sex with him. Now a couple of things here. I was working as a tech. and there was a charge nurse.next I was laughing because I could not believe what she had said. I was not the only one everyone was laughing the whole clinic had been. When I was at the nurses station the charge nurse said she neede to speak with the mang. as to the pt. inapp. comments. Never did she say anything to me as to me laughing. I had expressed to her that due to the pt mental cond. it was difficult. I had also, spoken to this same charge nurse as to when I had made the mistake of using white out on a flow sheet and I knew better and that I just goofed. And I do know better. It was one of those days.Well, I got called into the princple`s off. and thus got my final written warning. I questioned was I the only one and was quickly told that this is about me and that this is a problem with me about being defensive and not taking resp. as a nurse/leader.This past saturday I was to work , but had been up all night with back door syndrome and was just wiped out. So I callled in sick. I called the mang. at home at 5 am and recieved an adittude as to why did I waite till now to call.I apoligized, but I could tell by the tone that it was not recieved well. So now I`m off today and start a 4 day run tommorrow. I sure I`m gonna wind up being kicked out.I had just started working with another nurse for the last two weeks to learn the nursing role, but he was not much for teaching. I had the mang. for one day and did learn a lot that day.I had done med passes with out much fan fare and was very diligent to care, but its the day to day operations that one needs time to polish. I just crossed 7 months here and its another failure I`m facing in my very short nursing career. I`ve been looking and applying on line for jobs all week end and hpoe to hear from some. I`ve expressed to the mang. and her dist. mang. that I really like this job, but feel that I`ve been used to fill in for the shortage of PCT`s and that there was no structure to the transition of being the nurse on the floor. I even said that I don`t feel that they want me there. I was put in my place by the dist. mang. that that was the nursing job to work where needed.I so wanted to tell her that I thought she was a nasty person, but I kept my mouth shut. I found them to be very non-supportive and noting even making a responce as to, How can we help you. So if you made it through reading my story. Can any of you well seasoned nurse help this old guy stay in and not through in the towel. I do love working with pts. and helping them and of course the pay is much better that a phleb. I need to find the right directin to go. So help me out kids!!!!!!!!