Help with preceptorship

[RNbethy]

I feel so down about my preceptorship and need some motivation/guidance! How is it possible that I've done so well in all my clinicals, and now I'm told that I am at risk for failure? I'm so confused. When I started my preceptorship, I was motivated to learn and asked lots of questions. One of my preceptors held me back a lot from the very beginning. I told her that I needed to become fully responsible for my patients, and she told me that ICU was an advanced practice and that I would never be fully responsible. In spite of this, I continued to do whatever she allowed me to do and tried to have a good attitude about learning. There were many tasks that she wouldn't even give me the chance to do even though I felt I could learn them safely. (suctioning, taking blood from art lines). Now, my instructor is telling me that my preceptor thinks I do not take enough initiative, so I am suddenly trying to pick up the pace. After talking to my instructor, my preceptor is suddenly expecting me to take blood from the art line and do other skills that she didn't allow me to do previously. But it's all my fault because "I didn't take enough initiative." My preceptor told my instructor it took me 45 minutes to do a head to toe assessment, which is a huge exaggeration. It took me 40 minutes to set my alarm limits, do all my safety checks, record my hourly vital signs, do a head-to-toe assessment, talk to the patient about his concerns, and draw blood. I know that I am slow, but not that slow! I do not deny that I need to improve, but some of the comments seem unfair. My preceptor sometimes waits to give me feedback until days after the fact, and some of the facts, in my mind, seem twisted around. I am so worried about not succeeding in this course and do not know whether I should withdraw now to avoid a failure. Please help! Any motivation or guidance here would be greatly appreciated!