Help with nursing school personal statement

[wildernessgal6]

Hello!

I need some help and advice from folks who have been in my spot or are in my spot or have knowledge of what makes a great nursing personal statement. I am applying to a masters entry program in Nursing at USD. I have included the essay below and would greatly appreciate any feedback!

"Shortly after volunteering in a Cambodian hospital in Siem Reap, I found myself deep in the Sierras - eighteen miles from the nearest road or modern technology, and in the midst of extreme peril. At 13,800 ft. elevation, I crouched upon granite talus and tended to a mountaineer who fell two-hundred feet and was screaming in agony. Without hesitation, I stabilized his spine and applied pressure to control the bleeding from his cranial laceration. Despite the distressing situation, I found myself calm and efficient, and readily capable of using my Wilderness First Responder training to treat him. My AmeriCorps Backcountry Trails Program coworkers and the injured climber's brothers responded to my straightforward instructions: observe and record vital signs, maintain hydration, safety, and pain management while others went for help. That was my first medical emergency in King's Canyon and to my surprise, I was not paralyzed by an inborn fear of making the wrong decision.

This trepidation has directed me through my undergraduate career and most recently, in my nursing prerequisites, working in hospice and caring for my grandmother. Beginning in early childhood, I lacked a sense of confidence and leadership skills and was better identified by my work ethic, compassion and sense of humor. I was more comfortable living in others' shadows instead of rising to my sacred potential. It wasn't until I moved out of my comfort zone to college that I started to challenge my former modus operandi. There I discovered the fear that once had inhibited me from accomplishing what appeared to be unreachable goals was converted into a drive to succeed. These transformations, as well as an insatiable curiosity, have fueled me to thrive in my academic courses. Caring for my terminally ill grandma inspired me to test my caregiving passion in a clinical setting, working with hospice patients and their families. Working with inner city youth for wilderness training gave me a glimpse at a diverse population. These accomplishments interweaved my cross-cultural awareness and comprehensive care strategies but didn't provide me with the expertise I crave. I want to be like the nurses that I have worked alongside, the ones that know the best practices and which ones to re-write, the ones that are leaders amidst adversity.

In nursing there is never a dull moment, where I would be constantly motivated to utilize maximum knowledge and critical thinking skills to provide the highest quality patient advocacy. Nursing would offer the unique opportunity to collaboratively integrate crisis management experience with a precise set of science-based assessment and intervention skills that significantly improve health outcomes.

USD's program is a vital next step on my path for it's rigorous reputation as a trailblazer in academics. The facilities provide superior technology, the amazing professor to student ratio, access to the best clinical agencies and the international opportunities have all contributed to my decision. But it wasn't until the conversations with nursing students Holly and Amanda that inspired the ambition and determination I have had my whole life. With a lifetime of preparation for graduate study in nursing and reaching a plateau in my academics, attending University of San Diego is the most imperative next step to reaching my goals as a clinical nurse leader."

[h=1][/h]