Help! Nursing school application essay, writer's block!

EmDash · Jun 1, 2018

I don't think that would be off track, but I might leave room to delve into other things as well, specifically traits, experiences, or perspectives that are a bit more unique to you. Things like empathy are really needed to go into nursing, but I think it's also something everyone and their mother talks about having when they apply to nursing schools. What is going to make you stand out? Even if it's just experience with a certain vulnerable population that has made you aware of the issues they experience and given you a drive to leverage nursing as a way to improve some of those problems.

amber94hopper · Jun 1, 2018

You are amazing!!! Your comments helped me refocus a bit. Below is what I have. It is 150 words too long and it might still be off track a bit. What do you think? Thank you again for saving the day! Just seeing your post calmed my anxiety so much.

I want to spend my life engaging with the people around me in positive ways, doing all that I can to improve their journeys and learning from them in return. I have done just that in my work with adult learners in higher education and as an HIV prevention Peace Corps Volunteer but have always felt that something was missing, namely the training and knowledge of a nurse. I want to marry the lessons learned in my previous work with a nurse's training, allowing me to provide a different kind of care, comfort, and compassion to people when they need it most.

My work with adult learners has taught me the best way to improve academic outcomes is to see and mentor the whole student. I believe nurses are also in a unique position to improve health outcomes by understanding the whole patient, bringing all of that information to bare when assessing their needs. I believe that my communication style and compassion for others will be apparent to my patients, as it has my students, allowing me to build trust with patients and families.

More than anything though I believe my experience as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Swaziland solidified my desire to be a nurse. While on the front lines of the HIV crisis in Swaziland, I yearned for the training and the resources to save more lives but I did everything possible with my minimal training. I built relationships and trust with the members of my village and with the healthcare community, often acting as a bridge between the two. I was so blessed that each community allowed me to get close enough to see the realities of how HIV was affecting their lives. I began to understand not just intellectually but personally what the HIV crisis meant to people and a culture I cared about. Brave people gave me the gift of this knowledge and as a result I am called to leverage that knowledge to improve and save lives wherever possible.

I continue to visit Swaziland regularly, as my adopted daughter and now grad daughter are there, and have personally seen the strides made, effectively getting the HIV crisis under control in just 10 years. My daughter Zandi was born HIV+ but one year ago gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby girl. My family has remained in-tact and grown as a result of the meaningful work done in Swaziland. Every family there has benefitted, effectively changing what an entire country is experiencing. I want to be a nurse so I can continue to be a part of this type of meaningful work for the rest of my life.

I've heard tell that nurses are strong enough to tolerate anything yet soft enough to understand anyone. I embody the soft and the strong and owe both my fortitude and empathy to the wide range of life experiences and diverse peoples that have enriched my life. I will bring all of that experience to bare in support of my patients.

amber94hopper · Jun 1, 2018

I was able to get the essay down to 350 words. Do you think I'm still off track a bit or looking ok? Thank you again for your words...they really helped focus the essay and calm my nerves:)

I have spent my life engaging the people around me in positive ways, namely in my work with adult learners and as an HIV prevention Peace Corps Volunteer in Swaziland but have always felt that something was missing: the training and knowledge of a nurse. I want to marry the lessons learned in my previous work with a nurse's training to provide a different kind of care, comfort, and compassion to people when they need it most.

I know the best way to improve academic outcomes is to mentor the whole student. Nurses also improve health outcomes by understanding the whole patient when assessing their needs. My communication style and compassion for others will be comforting to my patients, as it has to my students, building trust with patients and families.

My experience on the front lines of the HIV crisis in Swaziland solidified my desire to be a nurse. While there, I built relationships and trust with my village and the healthcare community, acting as a bridge between the two. Both groups allowed me to see the realities of how HIV affects lives. As a result, I understand the HIV crisis not just intellectually but personally. Brave people gave me the gift of this knowledge and it is my responsibility to honor that gift by improving and saving lives whenever possible.

I still visit Swaziland as my adopted daughter and grad daughter are there and have seen the strides the country has made. My daughter was born HIV+ but today is an elementary school teacher and mother to a perfectly healthy baby girl. I want to be a nurse so I can continue to be a part of life changing work that will benefit other families as well.

It is often said that nurses are strong enough to tolerate anything yet soft enough to understand anyone. I embody the soft and the strong due to the wide range of life experiences and diverse peoples that have enriched my life. I will bring all of that experience to bare as a nurse to better care for my patients.

EmDash · Jun 2, 2018

I think the information is fine, but the way you are using it is a bit off track. That's more of an essay on why you want to be a nurse with a bit of stuff on why you think you'll make a good one. But instead, you want to tie the information into what you'll contribute specifically because of your traits and experiences.

For instance, with your experiences with the HIV crisis in Swaziland, you might start off with how you approached these people, building a genuine connection and rapport, and describing that, which you already did mostly. I would then say something like you will contribute this same approach in nursing with your patients. You will also use your unique understanding to offer compassionate and competent patient care to those with HIV and work to further educate others and try to break down some of the healthcare barriers that exist because of the social stigma surrounding HIV. Etc. Etc. Obviously, that's more dependent on what you personally feel, but you do want to go into specifically what you're going to contribute.