Help with my Nursing application Essay

[Robi5]

Hello everyone, I'm having some trouble with my nursing school essay.

The topic is : Please submit a 500-1,000-word essay discussing your reasons for choosing nursing and why you are applying to MCPHS.

Heres the thing, this is my second degree so I definitely want to mention that but I also don't want to bore the reader with too much info about that. It's been a while since i've done an essay like this so any time of criticism is good. This is the first rough rough draft and it may be changed but I was wondering if people could check my direction.

Anywho here it is: again The topic is : Please submit a 500-1,000-word essay discussing your reasons for choosing nursing and why you are applying to MCPHS. this is a 967 word essay

We are asked at a young age to create a foundation for our future. That is, what do you want to do for the rest of your life? I think that's a difficult thing to answer as a young adult. They don't teach a class on this in highschool or in college. It's something you have to search inside yourself for. So I asked myself that very question when I was a sophomore in college.

I was still undeclared at Umass Lowell and in need of a direction. I knew that I wanted a challenging career, one that would always keep me busy and moving around, instead of being behind a desk punching numbers or answering phones. I also wanted a rewarding career, one that had the potential to make a difference in someone's life. I decided to choose criminal justice because I felt it had a lot of the qualities that I was looking for in a career. My senior year I applied to a program in Washington D.C. that provided internships to students. It was here, working for the Department of Homeland Security: Immigration and Customs Enforcement, that I received the inside look at where my career could take me. I was doing all the right things to show that I had an interest in the career if employers were to look at my resume. I had a great time in D.C., I learned a lot about the career I was working toward and a lot about myself. But I came home knowing that this wasn't what I wanted to do afterall and i'm just happy that the experience showed me that before I got too far into it.

While down in D.C. I met a great girl that happened to be from the same area as me, just 40 minutes from home. We hit it off from the start and before we knew it we were spending all of our time together. Since coming back from D.C. I've really grown close with her family. Her mother and two sisters are all nurses at one of the best hospitals in Boston. I was always envious of the love they showed for their job and how happy it made them. I began to think to myself how nice it would be to be in that position, to truly love what I did for a living. It didn't occur to me that maybe I should look into it until her mom, a nurse of over 20 years, looked at me one day and said, "you know B__, I think you'd make a great nurse". From that point on i've had the motivation to do so. I think that everyone has an experience like this at some point in their lives, it just takes a little push from someone for you to realize it. Here is a woman that has been a nurse for years and has seen and worked with all kinds of people. For her to tell me that i'd make a great nurse meant a lot to me. It showed that my personality and values in life would make a great fit for a nursing career and it wasn't until then that I saw it myself.

I have always strived to be a caring, selfless person. In any relationship that I form with someone I do my best to make them happy. I feel as though I've always been a team player. In highschool I received the coaches award in lacrosse for stepping up to a challenge that no one else would. We didn't have a goalie on the team and I had never played that position before. If you know anything about mens lacrosse it's that you have to be crazy to want a 90mph rubber ball filled with lead coming at you with little to no padding on your body. But I chose to do it because I wanted to make a difference for my team. That first day, with the hundreds of shots fired at me I didn't let up a single goal, a feat that many of my lacrosse friends still talk about with me today. Of course that didn't last when it was game time but it felt for that moment in time someone was looking over my shoulder for my good sportsmanship.

One of my favorite movies has always been Patch Adams. I admired how he could go into a hospital and touch the lives of anyone he met with his great personality and humor. When I see images like this is one, it fuels my motivation to help others in the same way. *

With all the excitement and motivation running through me I began looking into career paths that a nurse could take and the schooling needed to take me there. I started to look at BSN programs that offered an accelerated route for students who already held a degree. This is where MCPHS came into play. It could not start up at a more opportune time for me with classes beginning in January, as apposed to the following September. After looking through the website and attending an information session over the summer, it really cemented my decision in wanting to attend.

I know now that nursing will be the perfect fit for me. It all started with motivation from a special person and has evolved into something even greater. It has everything i've been looking for: a challenging career with promotion potential, rewarding in every aspect of the job,the interaction with different people each day. But most importantly, you go home feeling like you made a difference in someone's life every single day. I want that in my life, and that is why i'm choosing your BSN program at the Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences in Worcester.

so again please feel free to rip it apart or give some tips. Hopefully my ideas aren't everywhere.

[Robi5]

correction.. its 774 words

[ParkerBC,MSN,RN, PhD, RN]

overall, i think the essay is well written. there are some grammatical errors, but given your writing style, i think you will be able to easily find them. therefore, i will not point them out. the only thing i will caution you on is why you want to go to massachusetts college of pharmacy and health sciences in worcester. most generally when the question is asked, the committee is looking to see if you did your due diligence in researching the school. some of the things to research may include: mission statement, vision, values, beliefs, history, and nclex pass rates. then ask yourself if they meet your personal beliefs? if you find their vision and values closely align with yours, describe how. you should be able to get a couple of paragraphs out of it. if this is unclear, by all means let me know and i will be more than happy to further explain it.

good luck to you!