Help Me Understand

[babynursejoan]

I have been working in the same institution for 25 years. This is the first job I got after graduation and I thought I would work here until I retired.I loved my job as a NICU nurse. My work with the tiniest, sickest babies has been so rewarding.

When I first started, our hospital was a small community hospital. I chose it over the larger, regional hospital because it was small. I knew the CEO, CNO, the maintenance staff and the nutritional services staff all by their first names.

25 years ago, when you were a new grad you had the utmost respect for EVERYONE !! I can remember having great respect for the senior nurses for their vast knowlege and commitmemt to nursing. Somehow I felt I wanted to be like them someday. I wanted to know what a doctor needed before they asked!! I was anxious to one day, be the preceptor and have knew nurses look up to me with that same awe and respect.

As my years at this institution grew so did my confidence and my skills!! I joined committees, I learned about policies and procedures and evidence based best practice.

Eventually, I learned about "change" as our institution grew and we became more comprtitive with the "big guys". Adjustments were made, I learned about our unit budget, par levels and being responsible for the bottom line at the end of each month!!

A Clinical Ladder was developed for the nurses. With my level of abilities, my certification and my participation on committes I quckly rose to a Clin 4 level. I worked hard for about 10 years working to refine my clinical skills, branch out onto other committees and formed the clinical practice committee within our own unit.

I felt I was ready to move to the highest level, a CLIN 5!!!! I wrote a letter of intent to the CNO and discussed with my PCD my work plan for the upcoming year.

I was given this highest honor and felt very good about my accomplishment. I continued to work even harder to show I had what it takes to be a Clin 5.But there was a down side I didn't expect; the staff viewed me differently and expected very high standards from me, some that were near unattainable!!

The worst came from the newest and youngest nurses!! No respect from this generation!! They were vicious and very much wanted to see me fail. My peer reviews that year were so mean with no positive content.

I always believed that we should encourage each other and suggest positive things to help them in the following year. Nope, not this group, they were vicious, disrespectful and view senior nurses as out of date old ladies that don't know anything!!

I cried when I read the peer reviews. Iwas in the lounge with the door closed. One of those young girls thought she could help by running to get our PCD. Our PCD became flustered and sent me home.

When I returned for my next shift, my PCD, took me down to HR for a 1st level warning with the director of HR, the AVP for nursing and myself. I was given a 3 day suspension for crying!!!

3 days after that, I was told I would be meeting with the AVP, my PCD and the employee health nurse in the AVP's office. When I arrived only the AVP and the PCD of the Mother/Baby unit was there. I was confused and upset. The AVP stated she had decided to change the course of the meeting. I was to receive my annual review. I was unprepared for this!! She said that the review would mostly touch on recent issues and not much of the rest of the year. All-in-all, she took away my Clin 5 and gave me an unsatisfactory review!! I couldn't believe it, I had never in 25 yrs. received anything but superiors!! She also said she was taking me out of the NICU and putting me in the mother/baby nursery to babysit and bath new well babies. I was not to come near the NICU or assocoate with NICU staff during work hours!!!

Now I know you are thinking, there must be more to this that I'm leaving out but I'm not. Ever sivnce then I think this AVP has planned to make my life miserable so I will leave !! Of course, she could hire 2 new grads for my salary!!

So in short;the attitudes of respect for senior nurses has changed in 25 years. We are old news, out of date and easily expendable

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