Help! Colleagues - Bullying - Deconstructive Criticisms

[RN411]

What do you do when your colleagues degrade you behind your back, to your face, to patients and to management?

There are a few issues I am currently facing is fellow nurses play the "good" friend role and say they try and help you but belittle you behind your back to other co-workers. Although they state they are mitigating -- their intent is not trustworthy and certainly not in my interest (most often their own). This has fostered disrespect, lack of confidence in my work from peers and overall makes me uncomfortable.

Secondly when confronted politely they will deny outright any involvement in negative comments or play "dumb". Even if meant as a joke constant reiterations of derogatory comments even when suggested to the people who make them are in fact derogatory don't stop, what do you do? Statements have been made on my behalf along the lines of I will accept any constructive criticisms you have. Turn out to be nonsensical replies on their behalf. Sure there's a nice trip to HR, make a statement get involved in a investigation and then what do you do?

Will the clique of people making statements make your work even harder because now you can't use them as a resource. Possibly even try to peg you with the slightest of mistakes. It isn't a conducive environment for myself but at the same time I get joy out of helping the patients I am assigned most of the time. Sure I could switch where I work in house, but how do I protect myself from the comments spreading? How do I approach management in a way that doesn't bring out an investigation or mitigate the problems.

Other members of the healthcare team have outright stated absurd comments to patients which also defames my character and have almost negated my professional opinion in matters. I have written statements from other members of the healthcare team of the negative things being said. If I leave the problem unaddressed it will never solve itself, but how do you go about it with the least disruption to your own work flow and to the entire floor? What should I do? I am tired of the negativity which is always surrounding the workplace. Speaking with my floor manager may accomplish something but favoritism is quite evident. Finally, the higher management is nearly invisible and inapproachable.

What would you do? Should I leave my place of work for another area within? Find an entire new facility?

[Maevish, ASN, RN]

What do you do when your colleagues degrade you behind your back, to your face, to patients and to management?

There are a few issues I am currently facing is fellow nurses play the "good" friend role and say they try and help you but belittle you behind your back to other co-workers. Although they state they are mitigating -- their intent is not trustworthy and certainly not in my interest (most often their own). This has fostered disrespect, lack of confidence in my work from peers and overall makes me uncomfortable.

Secondly when confronted politely they will deny outright any involvement in negative comments or play "dumb". Even if meant as a joke constant reiterations of derogatory comments even when suggested to the people who make them are in fact derogatory don't stop, what do you do? Statements have been made on my behalf along the lines of I will accept any constructive criticisms you have. Turn out to be nonsensical replies on their behalf. Sure there's a nice trip to HR, make a statement get involved in a investigation and then what do you do?

Will the clique of people making statements make your work even harder because now you can't use them as a resource. Possibly even try to peg you with the slightest of mistakes. It isn't a conducive environment for myself but at the same time I get joy out of helping the patients I am assigned most of the time. Sure I could switch where I work in house, but how do I protect myself from the comments spreading? How do I approach management in a way that doesn't bring out an investigation or mitigate the problems.

Other members of the healthcare team have outright stated absurd comments to patients which also defames my character and have almost negated my professional opinion in matters. I have written statements from other members of the healthcare team of the negative things being said. If I leave the problem unaddressed it will never solve itself, but how do you go about it with the least disruption to your own work flow and to the entire floor? What should I do? I am tired of the negativity which is always surrounding the workplace. Speaking with my floor manager may accomplish something but favoritism is quite evident. Finally, the higher management is nearly invisible and inapproachable.

What would you do? Should I leave my place of work for another area within? Find an entire new facility?

Work at a new hospital, preferably out of town, if you want it to stop (or cut down the chances of having this happen again any time soon). You can't help people like that and if you can, it takes a long time of killing them with kindness. I had the same situation at my first job out of school and it worked with everybody except one nurse. She was super nice at first, then she decided she was upset at me because I did something in a code (which was the right thing to do), but she'd told me to do something else so she thought I'd made her look bad, I guess.

You can't help those people and, if you don't get thicker skin, you will be miserable everywhere you go because a lot of nurses aren't that mature when it comes to gossip and things like that.

I always hated working with her after that because she was always (ALWAYS) looking for me to mess something up or nitpicking, simply because I contradicted her one night. It made me so anxious and the air was just thicker with something I couldn't describe so I know what you mean.

After that, there were rumors going around (spread by god knows who) and people I didn't even know were talking about me. It was very weird and made me uncomfortable (and pissed me off because some of my family members believed what was being said), but I could do nothing but truck along and do my work the best I could. There are always people who are nice or nicer than the other people so focus on them. Easier said than done, I know, but unless you feel like moving or bringing it up to your manager (or someone higher up) you don't really have any options.

good luck!

xo