Having serious doubts about school, hoping for objective opinions.

[Mrs_P]

Hi all,

I'm in the early months of a 12-month accelerated BSN program and am having serious doubts about whether I should continue with the program.

I have several family members that are life-long bedside nurses and love the profession. I worked hard to get into this program, including a whole year of prerequisites (unrelated first Bachelor's degree). I was thrilled when I was accepted and could vividly imagine myself as a bedside nurse and having a career I would love for the rest of my life.

Fast forward to now: I've completed several clinicals and, honestly? I dread every second I'm there. I know part of it is just being a new student who's uncomfortable and relatively unskilled, but I feel like it's more than that, because it's a feeling that's not going away or improving at all.

I went into this program thinking that I would eventually further my education. I love the science behind health care and am in constant awe of medical advances. I'm also a computer geek and would love to move over to informatics one day. I never thought (just hoped) I'd be head-over-heels in love with bedside nursing, but completely didn't expect this level of panic attack-inducing dread, either.

If it matters, my grades are great - I only mention it to stress that it's not worrying about my grades or courseload that's stressing me out.

I guess I'm just wondering if this feeling of absolute dread is normal, and if it ever dissipates. I'm not sure I can gut it out through 700+ more clinical hours over the next year, then work for 1-3 years before going back to school. I know not all units are the same, and I know having a BSN opens many doors that don't involve bedside nursing, but I'm just freaked out about throwing more money after a degree that makes me feel this way.

[theantichick]

I'm a career changer - currently in IT (Data Warehousing) without a degree, so I'm having to get my ASN first, and bridge for my BSN later. I am currently leaving my MSN options open - Informatics (if I decide to stay in a metro area) or FNP (if I decide to "retire" to a rural area and work as an FNP).

For myself, I LOVE emergency nursing (used to be a paramedic) and am going to try to get into that arena. I'm not expecting to *love* bedside med-surg either, but will do what I need for the experience.

Having researched the informatics, I can tell you it's a great career with lots of opportunity for people with the technical and medical backgrounds. I would definitely hang in there if I were you. :) It may be a drag getting through - I'm working 40+ hrs a week at my IT job AND going to school, and I just want to crawl into a corner and cry some nights. But one of the great things about nursing (esp for someone with an aptitude for informatics) is that there are LOTS of different areas to go into, with varying levels of patient care up to and including ZERO patient care. Lots of options once you get through the hard part.

Hang in there!!