how hard is it

Genista, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2004

Lesley-

Though I'm not yet a mom, I do have my 2 cents. I personally think that it's nearly impossible & unfair for women to expect themselves to be great moms, great wives & great in their careers 100% of the time. If you are working full time and raising a family- maybe you will be great in these areas, but at what cost? Just remember that both are full time jobs, and the most important will likely be your family. You can do both- but it will be hard. So don't be hard on yourself. Doing your best is sometimes good enough.

If it were me, I would either do school now & wait to have kids, or have kids now & wait to do more school. From what I hear, your babies really need you those early years (and later too, of course). Please at least consider part time work as an option. You will regret it if you aren't able to be there with them due to other responsibilities. As a nurse, you will be fortunate in having more flexibility in career options than most working women do. You will be able to choose various shifts & can work as little or as much as you want. You can work in many different settings, too!

I think it's great that you have given it this much thought. Good luck to you in all your endeavors! :)

mattsmom81 · Feb 28, 2004

Nursing is a great career for moms in many ways, because of the shiftwork and scheduling options. I spent more quality time with my kids than many 9-5'ers do I'm sure. When my kids were little, I worked PRN, scheduled around school and family events (did my schedule week by week at the hospital)and worked nights. I slept while kiddos were in school. I generally got them to school and picked them up. I had a fallback plan in place if I got out late from work...a friend of mine would wrassle the kids up for school for me (this was when they were a little older). When they were small and couldn't be left alone, my hubby would bring 'em to the hospital cafeteria and they would have breakfast while waiting for mama to finish up....(alot of us nurse moms did this and the ladies in the cafeteria spoiled our kids rotten.) When I got off work, I'd drive them to school. I worked 11pm to 7 am shift many years and had evenings as family time...it worked well for us.

I agree with Kona...don't be so hard on yourself. Where there's a will there's a way and kids are surprisingly resilient. Friends family and a good daycare center can all help..you will have options. My kiddos surprise me with their fond childhood memories of life with 'their mama the nurse'.

As to your fulltime question: I always prefered PRN work when kids were small, but I know plenty of nurses who DO work fulltime and they manage to work it out. It involves some organization skills but its doable. Good luck to you!

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2004

I dont know I just go golfing

ferfer · Feb 28, 2004

I am in school right now, almost finished, and I have a three year old at home. It has been the hardest thing in the world to send her off to daycare everyday. However, I keep in mind that I am also doing this to benefit her- more money, and I will be doing something I love. That will set an example for her that she will see that you need to honor your goals and desires. It is hard to leave her for shifts but it can be done.:)

I feel nobody can tell you whether or not it is easy to have children and be a nurse. It will differ for everyone. However, having children in itself is a challenge, let alone nursing. If you have a passion for both, however, you just overcome the obstacles and the tough times and make the time you have with your children quality time.:)

Dinith88 · Feb 28, 2004

Very Hard. Are your children young? If you're ABLE to be at home, it's my opinion it's in their best interests. (even if you have to sacrifice a few luxuries).

If you're absolutely unable to make it without working full-time, that sucks and hopefully things'll work out.

Children first.

Just call me DR. Laura.

wrmbreeze · Feb 28, 2004

I have a friend who does weekends 3- 12 hour shifts, gets paid for 40 hours . She gets to put her daughter on the bus and be there when she gets home. I think that allows her time to be a great mom and also let her daughter spend time on weekends with other family members so she has the best all around.

lesley_girl · Feb 29, 2004

I don't actually have children yet. I'm still young...only 21, but so baby hungry, I can hardly believe myself. This question was mostly for future reference and just to see if I'm totally crazy in wanting a career and motherhood.

Very Hard. Are your children young? If you're ABLE to be at home, it's my opinion it's in their best interests. (even if you have to sacrifice a few luxuries).
If you're absolutely unable to make it without working full-time, that sucks and hopefully things'll work out.
Children first.
Just call me DR. Laura.

NICUbabyRN · Feb 29, 2004

I think it can be done! I am a mother of 4 kids, they are now 13, 10, 7, and 6 years old. I went thought nursing school after having them. You need a good support person. Team work works for us. Everyone helps out in some way. But I know other nurses who do it on their own (single parent). It not always easy but I can be done.

uk_nurse · Feb 29, 2004

i work full time and a mother of 3 boys 11, 7, 5yrs. I have only been qualified for 12 mths. I did my training..that was hard coping with family too. I do 3 long days a week , which is 14 hrs a day, so i have 4 days off. I am lucky my mom takes boys to school and picks them up and looks after them till hubby picks them up after work. All i say is 'WAYAY' for my mom couldn't do it without her!

Tutti · Feb 29, 2004

Lesley Girl,

Of course you can have both. And you are not totally crazy to want to do it. I raised three kids while working full time, most of this time by myself. All three of my kids went through the daycare on-site at my place of work, which was so nice, I could see them throughout the day, even have lunch with them sometimes. I went through Nursing School after the first two were born, and I have to say, it was hard and I envied those who did not have kids. I would have to recommend going to school before kids. Anyway, good luck to you with whatever you decide to do. I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for you!

RNKPCE · Feb 29, 2004

Even people who don't have kids find working full time in nursing very hard physically and emotionally especially if they work 8 hour shifts. Then they only get 2 days off in a row twice a month. Most people who work full time find 12hr shift fit better. My friends who worked full time only needed childcare 4 out of 6 workdays(in a 2 wk period) because her husband was home on the 2 weekend days.

I think nursing can be great with kids if you work part time. Not many people I know can work part time and make good money outside of nursing. I work 2 days a week, opposite shift as my husband we have never needed much childcare this way. Also if I have a rough shift, I don't have to drive home in traffic and when I get home everyones asleep so I have some time to myself to unwind.

Nursing does offer many options you just have to find the one that works best for you.