got to keep on moving

[nursingosaurus]

I don't know how much time I will have to contribute to this post as I have several things going on right now, but I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I don't know how if I am in the right place in terms of this forum, or if I should be on another forum, but I can for sure say one thing: fibromyalgia is debilitating. Over the past 13 years I have almost always had a vague sense of fatigue. Sometimes the fatigue is much more than vague and feels heavy, as if several people are standing on my shoulders and my upper back. I do not understand it.

I've been to the endo, several of them-- while I do take medication for thyroid and hypothyroidism has made me feel awful in the past, it has been under control for quite some time. This feeling is different.

When I have a fibro flare, as I have heard it called, it feels as if my entire body has come down with the flu, has been hit by a truck, has gone through a bumpy rollercoaster ride. Sometimes the episodes happen when I haven't slept well and sometimes they happen for no good reason at all.

I recently had a one and a half span where I actually felt, on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the happiest I could ever be without any symptoms or pain....I felt at about an 8. My symptoms were minimum. I have no idea why or what I did other than I took some different vitamins which now seem to do nothing for me. Maybe it was the initial surge of the vitamins getting into my system. I really don't know. This entire beast is a mystery and I am struggling to understand it. How can my bones, muscles--my entire body hurt-- for no reason? I am not overweight. I am not underweight. My diet has not been perfect but I eat a very good amount of salmon, fruits, veggies, and I stay away from sodas and fast food. I don't eat white bread and I have been making a concerted effort to stay away from foods that will give me an instant sugar rush.

As I am writing this, I am trying to get through a vague fibromyalgia episode. Bones and joints and muscles all over are aching; I have taken my neurontin, I have stretched and gone walking several times today for work breaks, I have stayed hydrated with water and the only sugars I have had have been those found in the fruit I have eaten today.

I will try and continue this later, but right now I must get back to work. I no longer do the kind of nursing that involves direct patient care. I did it for about 6 years. It was AWFUL on my body. I know that I sound like a wuss and I know that many nurses did floor nursing, ICU nursing, night shift nursing for their entire career. I've had several tell me to "suck it up, and do what they did," but they're also older now and having a terrible terrible time with their bodies. I can't say that there is a direct correlation between that and years of floor/ICU nursing, but I can say that if my body already feels like it has gone through a rollercoaster ride without a seatbelt, then I don't think moving heavy patients and the heavy physical work involved in patient care is for me. I wish it was.

For the past four years I worked in an OR setting where most of our patients were not able to work, were obese, and had about ten other health issues going on. I feel as if my body aged about twenty years during that time. I am thankful for the experience I gained from that job and I am thankful I had that job to begin with.

Now I am in a position that is the exact opposite-- I am not moving around all day. It feels almost like a dream. It doesn't seem real. But with it comes its own set of issues. Sitting in a chair all day is also a nice way to get stiff- it is the total opposite end of the spectrum from my past job. So...here I am, at a newer job, thankful for the opportunity but trying to find balance.

(PS-- if this entry is in the wrong place, please let me know and I will go put it there instead. thanks!)