Frustrated!

[lovendove]

I'm sure I'm not the first nor the last and I'm sure there are ppl that are probably tired of 1st years complaining... and in the same breath, im SURE nursing was probably 10x's harder for some senior nurses back in the day. AND I know there are ppl without food right now that would love to have my problems but I NEED TO VENT. Please don't take this as lack of love for nursing because I LOVE being a nurse... but I find my self losing some of that like someone chipping away at it shift by shift. And also, please don't take this as ungrateful because I really do try to be thankful in all things but i'm really struggling here.

I'm tired of my floor. I LOVED it at first but it's really wearing on me. Mostly because of the lack of help. We have the laziest CNA's. It's this lazy spirit that they have, most of them are the same way and I can't understand it.. is it the job? Is it inevitable becuase of what they do or is it the person? Is it the floor? Does it change floor to floor? Hospital to Hospital? Will I ever escape this lazy do nothing attitude? It's not my job... ask So in so... I'm on my break (for two hours)? It's awful. Is it because they are in a union and we aren't?

I DO NOT GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please shed some light on this for me.... I'm on a neuro floor but lately we have been getting a lot of medicine patients and complete cares...and I just can't take it. I NEED help, I CAN NOT DO IT ALL ON MY OWN! I have to put off things that aren't that important but still part of my shift duties, to tend to priorities and then not getting things done but there isn't TIME. I don't feel safe all the time either. It's scary.

I'm exhausted and i'm barely 6 months in. I don't know if I can make it 1 yr on this floor:( I want to look for another position but I love a lot of things about my floor (most of the time), I do love neuro and I love my hospital and the patients are down to earth, most of the staff are really great... I don't want to leave and if I leave on bad terms, my shots of getting into any of their other hospitals (because it's a system of hospitals I work for) are shot so I feel like I have to stick out the yr even though it feels like its taking my joy day by day:( And I've always been one to say you must love what you do but I'm not loving what I'm doing these days... And I'm not 100% of me because of the circumstances and that not fair for my patients, my family or myself.

I don't know what to do:(

[I_Scream]

lovendove, first of all, know that you are not alone. You are amongst thousands of novice nurses going through the same thing..

I did think that I love nursing until I came here in the US and worked my first job in a med/surg/tele floor. I hated every minute of it. And everyday I came home from work, I'd think to myself, I wanna be a nurse, not work like a dog! Like you, I was devoted to the profession, but I just couldn't change the circumstances that made the job unbearable. Yes, my co workers were great. Yes, everyone says it'll get better. But it was just getting worse and worse, and just like you, I was hating and hating nursing. I quit after just a little less than 5 months on the job, and looked for another job, hoping for another place to compare my previous experience with. My thought was, "well, if it's really like this, then it is. If its worse, then so be it, I just have to accept the fact that this is Nursing. But what if I'll find a better place?" In a week, I will be starting in a different hospital.

I wouldn't say I made the right decision. There are days as I go over this website that I wished I stayed, since everyone else seems to be going through the same thing. Maybe it's really like this anywhere you go.... But well, there are decisions I couldn't take back. And I just believe that God always has reasons that reason does not know.

So as for you, just hang in there. Find all the support you can have, and talk to your manager about it. Everyone has the right to a safe and fair workplace. Communication is key. Just maintain kindness to your nursing assistants. Compromise with them if you can, "do this for me, I'll do this for you." Exhaust every means to stay on your current job while also maintaining your sanity and well being. Don't quit fast enough like I did. Especially that the job market is pretty down at this time.

Take each day at a time. Go home and leave the day's job as soon as you walk out the door. Always remember why you become a nurse in the first place. We still have more to go in this career..

Someone said, this is the hardest job you'll ever love.

Good luck to us!