frustrated during externship, advice from RNs please?

[browniepoints]

Hi there. I am so frustrated and upset right now, and I could really use an objective viewpoint from some of you who have been there. I'm doing a summer externship in a university based teaching hospital. I'm on a medsurg/oncology floor and let me just say that compared to the clinical I've done in school so far, this floor is like trauma compared to what I've seen! Nevertheless, I have been working very hard and have felt like I was hanging in there. Some days I take care of all 6 patients and feel like I was on top of it all, understood everything going on, prioritized well, and basically felt competent in the role of nurse. My preceptor tells me I am very independent, level-headed, and most of the staff doesn't realise I'm not a nurse yet. So it has been great for my confidence so far.

Well, then there is a day like yesterday, and I leave feeling like an incompetent idiot who should find a new career. It was so busy my preceptor and I ended up splitting up our patient load basically and both of us scrambled to just get everything done. I felt like I was just a complete pain in the rear, couldn't get anything right, felt like I messed up everything I touched, and basically was overwhelmed. I just blanked out with interpreting lab results, got nervous when an intern doc was standing over my shoulder wanting me to add up a JP drain output b/c apparently he couldn't(4 figures, all whole numbers! I was just worrying about suctioning another pt right then at shift change and didn't think the doc would need me to add the 4 #'s, but I digress) and just felt like if I was on my own that night all my patients would have died I was so inept. Just never felt like I was in control of it all, pretty much felt lost, like I was tagging along on my first day again!

It is just so frustrating because I've been on this unit for 6 weeks now, and all of a sudden feel like such a failure. My preceptor is great, she explained it was just one of those days things got hectic and not to worry, but I still am worried.

Is this a sign I should look for something other than medsurg to do when I graduate? Is it normal to have days like this, feeling like you can't do a thing right? And as far as other staff....other nurses, docs, techs....sometimes everyone seems so gawdawful miserable, I can't help feel like I am personally pi$$ing them off by doing something stoopid when it probably doesn't have anything to do with me...but it just adds to the stress. I'm trying really hard to develop a thick skin, but I've always been the type to worry I've done something wrong when others around me are so miserable acting.

So does it get better....am I just having a bad time right now? I feel like I can never learn enough in school to come out and know everything I need to care for some of these patients. And I'm usually very calm under pressure, it was awful feeling like I was not in control of everything. Ugh. Sorry, this is a vent more than anything I think, but if anyone had any tips I would really appreciate it.

[ERNurse752, RN]

It sounds like you're doing great so far. Especially for someone who is still in school! It takes a good year as a nurse to really start feeling comfortable in most areas, sometimes even more.

I don't think it's a sign you should do something other than med-surg when you graduate, unless of course, you don't want to do med-surg.

Hang in there. There will always be bad days. Don't worry about the other people acting miserable etc...if you know you did a good job, let 'em be miserable people by themselves and don't let them drag you down.

As far as learning everything in school to come out and know everything you need to know to take care of everyone...you won't. You'll learn it over time, with experience. Frustrating sometimes, but that's realistic. That's the hardest part for me - still, four years after graduating!

Good luck with school and your career. :)