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Feeling extremely angry, depressed, and hating myself

Posted

Hi, I'm not a new grad, but just started working on a progressive care unit after taking off two years from Medical Surgical unit. I'm not sure what happened to me last night but by the end of the shift I was exhausted, and hungry. I just couldn't not seem to get my head together to give a good report. During my shift, I was extremely busy, and had barely any time to look at anything in the patient's chart. I saw some new orders but I didn't have time to really look at them to see if they were done yet etc. I'm depressed because I'm having a tough time managing 5 patients on a PCU unit. There is just so much going on at once. And to make things worse, the night supervisor belittles me at the end of the shift because I got a call about a patient that was not even mine. It was the end of the shift, and the schedules were being changed. The caller stated that she was looking for Cora, but then the schedule showed that Julie had this patient. I am still learning who the nurses are. Anyway, the night supervisor belittle me and treated me like a was a child telling me to walk the phone down to the other end, and she didn't give me time to explain why I was confused. She just talked to me like I was an idiot. She even got annoyed because I didn't transfer the call at first but instead I took down the family's name and number. I thought it would be better to give the new nurse the information after shift changed and things calmed down. The supervisor was in my ear while I was trying to listen what the family member was saying. Anyway, I left work feeling bad about myself. I work hard all day and then I get treated like crap by a supervisor over something small. Btw, I get belittled mostly when I'm at the nursing station. I feel like this seems to be the area where I get treated like crap. I'm so angry, and really beat myself up. I am started to hate myself. I feel like maybe I am just stupid and should give up. I feel defeated and bad about myself when I'm treated like this. This behavior from higher ups is really taking a toll on my self esteem:(