Eye of the Storm

Published Oct 27, 2012

5 Posts

I thought I would share this, as part of my assignment I was to write an essay on why I decided to return to school, and how I was called to become an ER Nurse.

What Motivated Me to Return to School Now?

A series of events have recently occurred in my life to motivate me to return to school. On May 28^th, 2012, my husband and I woke at 2:00am to tag-team taking care of our baby. He changed the diaper as I sleepily prepared a bottle. When my husband stood up, he said "I don't feel well I'm going to the bathroom. Can you take over?" I said, "Yes, of course." Twenty seconds later my life changed. My husband cried out for me, with what was the last breath he had left in his lungs, I rushed to his side and discovered him lying on the floor of the bathroom, writhing in pain and clutching his chest. He muttered softly, "my heart." A rush of Zen-like calm washed over me, I found our cell phone and called 911. He tried to speak to me but his words were slurred and unintelligible, but I did make out him say "I'm dying." I told him softly, "No, I'm not going to let you die, you are going to be okay the paramedics are on the way."

It felt like a hundred years had passed in the time I called for the medics and they hadn't arrived, so I called again. Explaining to them calmly that I really believe my husband is having a heart attack, and please come quick as he's slipping away. When the medics arrived they rushed him off to the hospital, sirens and lights. I knew this was serious, but I stood there, in my front yard trying to process everything that just happened.

I made my way to the hospital. It wasn't an easy ride as this was in the middle of the first hurricane of the season. However I still had the calm, calculating mind. Like the edge of a razor. Dodging the debris and wind whipping around my vehicle, I felt much like that storm. All the events around me were the wind, rain and obstacles, and I was the calm eye of the center.

When I found him in the critical care room (this is where they put patients who they fear may 'code') the nurse informed me that my husband had a tachycardia attack, his heart rate was up to 265 beats a minute and he is lucky to be alive. People just don't live through that. She touched my shoulder and told me, "You know, you saved his life. Most people wouldn't have responded so quickly." I just nodded, not quite believing I could take credit for something that seemed like such a concise and obvious choice at the time.

I knew then, that my life would never be the same. That I was given a gift, not only that of a second chance to be with my husband, but in an emergency, I might be able to make a difference in the lives of others. I questioned myself, "If I can maintain this level of calm with someone I care so deeply for, and respond accordingly, how great might I be at helping others in their time of need?" It was the answer that led me here. The answer that I know I am that 'special sort' it takes to handle emergency medicine. That I was called to help those in the most delicate moments of their life, to use this gift God has given me to help the lives of others. Even if I may only be a part of their life for moments, that my critical thinking and calm will change their lives forever. I know emergency medicine is where I should be. So here I am today, taking the first steps to change my life, and help the lives of others.

(And in case Mr. Miller finds this, yes- it's original lol I wrote this and shared it. studentID#mackk4)