essay for nursing school

[katpnguyen]

Hi, I'm applying to nursing school and their essay is about significant event that led you to persuade in nursing. Essay is limited 200 words. Here is my writing and I need some help.

My aspiration of becoming a nurse was sparked when I first entered college. However I started college as a biology major student. I was always afraid and had low self-esteem about myself becoming a nurse, because to me, nursing is an amazing job and also not an easy job. The intention of becoming a nurse had never grown stronger in me until the day I heard that my two years old cousin was in the four-stage of cancer. I went to see him in the hospital and burst into tear. I stood there with helpless and watching him suffering with cancer symptoms. At that moment, the only thought in my mind was that I wish I could do even a thing to help. It was my first time been to children hospital and I had a chance to see many other kids that were having the same situation. Since that day until now, the desire to become a nurse to help people had never stop in me. It urges me to try harder in myself and overcome the obstacles ahead no matter what to become nurse and work with all my care and compassion. I want to reach out other human being not just with my hands but with my heart.

[Jolie, BSN]

Your passion is evident in your essay, so you have clearly gotten your point across.

I agree that you would benefit from some assistance with writing structure, style and editing.

Most colleges and universities have writing centers, staffed by English majors, grad students and instructors who assist students with written work, especially important projects. Please consider making an appointment there and asking for their guidance. Do so well in advance of your application deadline.

Best of luck to you!