Essay to get into Nursing Program at Christian University

[aflynn1117]

I have to write an essay to be considered for acceptance into the nursing program at a Christian University. For the essay we have to show evidence of faith in the medical field and why we want to go to a Christian school for nursing. I just want to know what you all think about how I have started it off.

As I began my first day of CNA clinicals I read and meditated over a verse my Sunday School teacher, who is also a nurse shared with me, it was Proverbs 3: 5-6: "Trust the Lord completely, and don't depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way." This verse stayed with me all morning as I cared for my resident. The more I thought about this verse the clearer it became to me that being a nurse will not only will give me the opportunity to care for someone through medicine, but it will also allow me to be Jesus to someone which is something that I strive for each day.

My very first day of my CNA clinicals was anything but uneventful. My first resident on my first day went down as we were transferring her from her chair to her bed. She was unresponsive for about a minute, which was probably the longest minute of my life. Our teacher came in and we got a nurse. The nurse said she had been doing it a lot lately, but that still did not comfort me. I knew we had not done anything wrong, but I still felt as if there was something I had not done. The next morning as I got ready for my second day of clinicals it just hit me, I did not pray for my resident the first day. That is what was missing. Every day since then I have prayed for my resident, my classmates, and every other resident in the facility. I can absolutely tell a difference in everyone since I have started praying also. Everyday my resident seems to get stronger and can do more for herself. My classmates seem more compassionate and I know that it is because I stopped relying on myself and started relying on God. God was with me on day one, but I was only relying on myself to perform each task.

[eva123]

First off since it an acceptance/admittance essay you should use academic prose, which means no words like "very". Start off with a strong introduction paragraph, something to catch their attention and make them notice you. While you feel it may be necessary to include a full description of your clinical day, I would steer clear of that and talk specifically about the areas you are to address, evidence of faith in the medical field and why you want to go to a Christian school to be a nurse. Look at some of Florence Nightingale's notes, this may help. Also try not to say be Jesus to someone, but more along the line of "I can show Jesus' love or "do the work for Jesus in their lives", just some advice because you cannot actually be Jesus if you know what I mean