Correctional Nursing - Right Fit For Me?

[Jade Nicole, LPN]

Hey all...

I became an LPN in February 2021. I worked for about a year in a skilled rehab, weekends only. I recently switched to correctional nursing at the county jail, weekends only. (I work two 12's and I am a SAHM during the week.) This post is partly about wondering if this is the right kind of job for me, but it's more about whether or not nursing is right for me...

My nursing program wasn't great - high instructor turnover, we switched to zoom when covid began and we didn't have in-person clinicals. I did well on tests but I really lacked experience and skills. One year into nursing, and I still feel so unqualified and sometimes I feel really stupid. I make such basic mistakes. I have trouble pronouncing so many medications. I hardly ever have the right answer for someone on the spot. Yesterday I gave an inmate (my first) IM injection of Phenergan through a small opening in her door, and I was nervous. Afterwards, I literally set the needle down, without the safety cap, and put a band aid on her. The nurse shadowing me of course made a big deal about it, and rightfully so. I feel like I am not making progress. In this work environment there is not much positive support, and I feel bad about myself a lot. 

Is it normal to feel this way in the beginning? This is a very humbling experience. I honestly feel like I have been faking it until I make it. Some extra details about me... I am a Christian and I am over the top loving and caring and kind which I believe has helped me in the field. But it's the wisdom, experience and knowledge I am lacking.

I just applied for an RN program, and my hope is that more education and real clinical experience with a teacher will help build my confidence and competence as a nurse. Any positive feedback?