coping with fetal demise

[steyork0129]

As a graduate nurse, how do you cope with your first fetal demise?

[auburngirl95]

I actually was a student when I experienced a fetal demise. I tried really hard to understand it and help the couple have what they needed at the time.

As a parent it was hard. I thought of my 2 healthy kids at home.

My heart broke for that mom and dad who left with no baby. I cried in my car on the way home. And I prayed for God to watch over that couple and protect them from the thoughts that could tear them apart in the weeks/months to come. And for that baby whose life ended too soon.

[Guest321574]

My experience came while working as an aide in L&D. I knew that there was a pt on the unit in for IUFD and that she was going back to the OR to deliver. But when I walked in to the room (accidentally) where they were keeping the baby while the pt recovered, I was floored. I just stood there for a few seconds for what reason I dont know. As I stood there, the pts primary RN walked in, as she was about to do the photo, bath, etc. She told (not asked) me to help her and that seriously was the best thing that I could have done. It made it more real for me, I helped me realized that I could handle fetal death with poise (this was a fear of mine, because I always wanted (want) to work in L&D, but in the back of my mind I feared how I would deal with the inevitable when the time came).

I always wonder what made me stand there not moving, because had I turned around and left, I might not have had the opportunity to help the RN. I cried buckets as I drove home from work that shift, but still I am so grateful for the experience because after it all I realized I still wanted to move forward with pursuing L&D and felt more secure in my decision having faced that one hurdle I was so worried about.