Coping with disability at work

[jayebug]

Hey all,

I have temporal lobe ADD (no hyperactivity) secondary to a polymorphism of dopamine beta hydroxylase defienciency. In other words, I have behavioral symptoms and autonomic nervous system defecits that effect my blood pressure, blood sugar, lactation, temperature control etc. I do have a lot of trouble sitting still, and often fidget or shift my position, although my doctor thinks this could also be because sitting causes my blood pressure to drop and I'm naturally compelled to move because of this. I've been a nurse for 10 yrs, but my symptoms have been getting worse as I get older, which is common with this disorder, and now that I'm in my 40s, I find it hard to keep up with acute care nursing. I have trouble focusing, which is one of my biggest symptoms. I could literally space out for hours on end, which is what my brain seems to be comfortable doing because forcing myself to focus for extended periods leads to mental exhaustion. I wish I could have a series of small 5 minute breaks througout the day (nothing excessive, just totalling like 30 minutes or so) just to sit and let my mind rest. I'm on a hypoglycemic diet, which means I eat small, constant, high protein snacks throughout the day instead of 3 large meals which maintains my blood sugar, but also combats any post prandial drop in blood pressure (food coma). I'm also very sensitive to dehydration, so I have to drink a lot of water, so I'm also running to the bathroom a lot. I have mood swings too, which are also effected by low blood sugar or the fatigue associated with my low blood pressure. I take medication. Actually, I take Adderall IR (the extended release didn't seem to work all that well) 3 times a day when I'm working, and twice a day when I'm off. I tried Vyvanse, but the D amphetamines make me agitated. I can't take the sympathommetics because they don't control the behavioral symptoms. Adderall controls all of my symptoms to a certain extent. It actually calms me, allows me to focus, while at the same time supports my blood pressure, fatigue, and hypoglycemia. Acute care nursing doesn't seem to allow me to take care of myself in the way I need to in order to be at the top of my game. I realize a desk job would be perfect for me, but with the job market being so tight lately, it's hard to change specialties without any experience. I probably shouldn't have gotten into acute care in the first place, but I was only properly diagnosed with this disorder 2 years ago, and like I said, my symptoms get worse with age, so I've really only been feeling this way recently. I realize I could ask for accomodations but I'm very wary of revealing my disorder to my superiors because nursing seems to be such a disability phobic profession, and I know they can really find something to fire you for if they are uncomfortable. Has anybody had these issues? Any tips or tricks, or ways to talk to management that I haven't thought of? I'd love some input, thanks