Coping with death and bad outcomes

CritterLover, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2020

Many of the kids we care for *are* very sad. I don't have kids so I can't comment on that aspect of it, but for the long term chronic kids that we care for, I just try to make sure that my efforts contribute to their quality of life. They might not have what many would consider to be a "normal" live, but I do what I can to make it the best life they can have. I try to remind myself that this is what they know. I deal mostly with kids under 3 (majority are infants), and they just don't have the awareness to realize they are different.

For the kids that are dying, I try to make sure they are comfortable and feel loved, cuddled, and secure.

Even for the occasional older kids who *do* realize they are different, I play into what they find fun, what they want to do.

Taylor1432 · Jan 28, 2020

5 hours ago, CritterLover said:
Many of the kids we care for *are* very sad. I don't have kids so I can't comment on that aspect of it, but for the long term chronic kids that we care for, I just try to make sure that my efforts contribute to their quality of life. They might not have what many would consider to be a "normal" live, but I do what I can to make it the best life they can have. I try to remind myself that this is what they know. I deal mostly with kids under 3 (majority are infants), and they just don't have the awareness to realize they are different.
For the kids that are dying, I try to make sure they are comfortable and feel loved, cuddled, and secure.
Even for the occasional older kids who *do* realize they are different, I play into what they find fun, what they want to do.

Thank you for responding. My unit has seen quite a few kids pass lately who weren’t chronically sick. Drownings, SIDS, flu, etc. I’m finding these particularly hard to wrap my mind around.

JRT1, MSN, RN · Feb 10, 2020

This is tough. I moved away from Inpatient pediatrics but not for this reason. I didn't have kids when I was working PICU and Peds Onc. It was hard then even without my own kids. Now that I have my own kids I don't know that I could do it every day. Its hard not to picture your own kids laying in the bed. Some people can separate it easier than others but it is definitely something you need to find balance with. If it is wearing you down too much then its time to look for something else. Thats the beauty of nursing...there is something for everyone.

PeakRN · Feb 15, 2020

I'm fortunate to have the perspective of having worked with adults and peds in EDs and the units.

Life is unpredictable, it isn't fair, and not everyone gets dealt a good hand.

I've had plenty of kids with poor outcomes from heart disease, the flu, and just about every other thing possible.

It exists in adults too. It exists in the EDs, adult ICUs, NICUs, floors, and so on.

I think that in order to survive critical care you have to come to terms that a lot of patients are going to have poor outcomes, and be able to not take it home. We are able to recover many more patients, and give lifetimes back to so many of our kids and their families.

Over the years I've worked with a lot of nurses who don't ever really handle the stress well, and ended up leaving the units or EDs. It isn't natural to see death and suffering like we do everyday, and they found that another care environment ended up being much better for them. If you do choose to leave the PICU don't think of it as a failure or weakness.