Career change:Lost the Love for nursing

[RealtorNurse]

Has anyone here had an experience like mine? After seven years in the field I have changed from nursing to a completely different career. When I started It was all very different. Nursing was in a greater shortage than it is now.Shifts were long and sometimes an RN on the floor was never to be found.Then it got worse.Doctor's rudeness,never ending state inspections.No upper clinical management support.I decided to switch to home care. There I felt happy.I worked with kids and that about did it for me.It was energy robbinng but so much fun....until they started to pass away one by one.As I write this my eyes fill to tears.I no longer had that kid running to the door happy to see me there he was gone after 4 years of feeling like second mom.Then another one,then another and another.People I had built connections with.It's almost impossible in home care not to develop bonds.You are always there.Families who see you and exchange with you.Then things after 4 deaths of my closest all in one years time got worse.I was working for someone who treated me very unkindly not to be to specific...for 2 years after all the deaths I took a break.This person was family to the patient. It was my first return to nursing case.I got attached to the child and after working with this parent got violent I had to go. It was awful.All these things made me loose my love for nursing.I just don't feel it anymore.I want to feel like I used to once before,but can't.Now I have 3 families I see on and off because I have known them for years,but am unable to take any new cases.I practice part-time(once or twice a month).I feel ok with it because I have a new career and feel physically,and emotionally better. I gained the hair I lost in a big patch due to stress and I am keeping my weight on.So maybe,just maybe I will have satisfaction in helping people in other ways than in a nursing setting.I just miss those kids smiles.