Can't always listen to the hype

[Simply Complicated]

I work in the ICU of a small hospital. My nurse manager covers the ICU as well as the tele floor. Like all hospitals, there can be a lot of negative attitudes going around. As hard as one trys to ignore the moaning and complaining, it can be hard not to get caught up in it sometimes.

I hear a lot of people complaining about how our manager nitpicks so many things, and is constantly writing people up for every little thing. I've always tried to keep in mind, no one knows how many times they didn't get wrote up, so maybe it was well deserved.

Last week I had a situation, that the family complained and made a really big deal. At the time, I thought I handled everything well, and giving the best possible care I could. When I came in the next day, i was told they no longer wanted me caring for the patient. In hindsight, I can see things I could have done different. I wasn't necessarily wrong per say, but there was more I could have done. Hind sight is 20/20. I'm also new to the ICU, I've been off orientation for a few months, so I am still learning. (my actions did not harm the patient, although the family was blaming me for his deterioration.

As my manager was on vacation, another unit manager came to discuss things with me, letting me know my manager would talk to me when she came back. From letting others attitude affect me, I spent the last week sure I was going to get wrote up. For no reason. My manager basically said that it sounded like I took it to heart, I took it as a learning experience and am growing from it. Situations are going to happen and it's the attitude the nurse holds towards them that she looks for. Had I come in with the attitude I did nothing wrong, blah blah blah, then I might have been in trouble.

I have definitely learned my lesson about listening to the gossip. I've been there 7 months, have never been in trouble, and never been wrote up. I try to keep a positive attitude and do my job properly. Guess it really does count for something:p

[anonymurse]

Yeah. It's a blessing to have a boss who takes time to KNOW you. Then when some trash-talker comes along to try to get you in trouble with her, you're OK.

Preceptors tried twice to trash me in sit-downs with the boss and it backfired on them, so I know she was watching me closely in those first weeks, even if I wasn't aware of it.

I figure it's been done behind my back way more than twice, but I've only had her ask me for clarification on things I did twice, then heard no more.

I think something else goes along with that. I don't complain about others to her. You're probably the same way. I got very close last week, but in the end I decided not to waste her time.

And thinking about it, everything gets talked about on the floor, so any complaints I had and didn't pass to her probably got to her by another route.

[Simply Complicated]

Yeah. It's a blessing to have a boss who takes time to KNOW you. Then when some trash-talker comes along to try to get you in trouble with her, you're OK.

Preceptors tried twice to trash me in sit-downs with the boss and it backfired on them, so I know she was watching me closely in those first weeks, even if I wasn't aware of it.

I figure it's been done behind my back way more than twice, but I've only had her ask me for clarification on things I did twice, then heard no more.

I think something else goes along with that. I don't complain about others to her. You're probably the same way. I got very close last week, but in the end I decided not to waste her time.

And thinking about it, everything gets talked about on the floor, so any complaints I had and didn't pass to her probably got to her by another route.

That is true, I've only ever gone to her once for anything. That was when I was on orientation, I went to her to ask to switch preceptors. I debated long and hard on it, but felt I wasn't getting what I needed out of the person I was with. We had very different learning styles, and just were not meshing well. I like working with her, she is an awesome nurse. But we just didn't "teach/learn" well together. I didn't trash her either, I just explained that I felt we didn't click, and I didn't feel I was learning as I needed to. She switched me no problem.

I do think if you are not one to complain and always be telling on other people, that goes a long way!

[HiHoCherry-O]

Its too bad that some NMs would rather spend time writing someone up than using that time to discuss what alternatives to the situation could have been implemented. This would be especially beneficial to you if the family felt you contributed to the "detrioration" of their loved one. This would also be a good time for the NM to step in with the family and do a little PR.

[Simply Complicated]

Its too bad that some NMs would rather spend time writing someone up than using that time to discuss what alternatives to the situation could have been implemented. This would be especially beneficial to you if the family felt you contributed to the "detrioration" of their loved one. This would also be a good time for the NM to step in with the family and do a little PR.

The managers were very involoved with it. I wasn't the only one they ended up having a problem with. 2 of the daughters are nurses, and work for the same system. The family was very demanding, and almost unreasonable to a point. My manager did use it as a learning experience, and is sitting down to talk with me, from an educational standpoint. That was what I meant, was from listening to everyone else, I was sure I was going to get wrote up. But she did what I believed she should do, was go over things with me, so I could learn from it.

Had I handled the situation differently, the outcome would have been exactly the same. I was in frequent contact with the doctor, with multiple orders from him. Without going into detail, the only thing that would have been done differently had I pushed the doc a bit more and been a little more forceful from a respiratory standpoint, is he would have been ventilated sooner than he actually was. THe family was basically blaming me for him having to be intubated. Which per the doc would have happened regardless. The family just wasn't ready to accept things, and were looking for someone to blame. The family wasn't really even here for like 10 hours, but blamed me for his changes regardless.

[morphed]

Wow. It would have been easier for you NM to just write you up. It actually takes a lot more out of a person to be understanding. We should all be blessed with such understanding people in our lives. I'm happy it didn't end up being too big of a problem for you.