Can someone please quickly review my cover letter?

[HappyPediRN]

I am about to apply to a hospital I want to work at more than anything in this world. I decided to just write a cover letter from my heart instead of all the guidelines that have gotten me nowhere, but I need a little tweaking. Any help is appreciated. Thanks so much.

Sarah last name

[address]

[deleted hospital name]

7/30/2008

Dear Nursing Recruitment and Nurse Manager(s):

My name is Sarah [last name] and I am interested in a new graduate NICU position (should i keep this sentence or delete it?). I recently graduated Magna Cum Laude (should I take out the magna cum laude?) from {deleted name] with my Bachelor of Science of Nursing. I passed the NCLEX-RN exam July 2nd, 2008 and hold a license as a registered nurse. I have long aspired to work in the NICU, and this aspiration is what carried me through nursing school. I have personal experience that has drawn me to the NICU environment and has also matured me for a career in this field. My experience has made want to care for critically ill infants and to provide support for families going through the pain and uncertainty of having a child in the NICU.

The NICU is a high-stress, high-tech environment and I thrive on that kind of multi-tasking, along with all of family teaching that comes with this type of position. I would especially love to be part of the small miracles that come along with a NICU setting. I know deep down in my heart of hearts that this is my calling. There is such a balance of positive and negative in this field and I do not feel I could be fulfilled in any place other than a neonatal intensive care unit.

I hope you will strongly consider me for a new graduate position in your NICU. There is no other hospital in [deleted state] that compares to the technology and capabilities of [deleted hospital] - from surgery to nitric oxide to ECMO. I want to work among the best of the best and there is no truly no comparison to the supportive teaching environment that the staff at [deleted hospital] provides. Despite my limited experience I have the motivation to learn, and I believe more importantly, the heart.

Sincerely yours,

Sarah last name

[HappyPediRN]

mods please delete this. thank you.