Can I really do this?!?

Darwinsthumb · Sep 18, 2008

Hello,

I am just beginning the process of my nursing education (have applied for a PN certificate program) but am starting to have serious doubts (fears?) about my decision.

I spent the first 10 years of my adult life working at a humane society, which I loved, but burned out on. The past two years have been spent doing office work and over that time I have become increasingly unhappy with the monotony of it. I decided on nursing for the same reason many people do: I want to help people and make a difference; however, I'm starting to realize that my idealized fantasy of Florence Nightingale tenderly mopping the brow of her feverish patient is just a tad unrealistic (okay, so I wasn't that naive, but you see what I mean.)

After hearing a litany of horror stories, from "nurses eat their young" to "I killed my patient" I am starting to wonder if their is anything positive to this career.

Although I think I am a reasonably intelligent individual, I have never been brimming with confidence and self-esteem, and can also be overly sensitive. I surprised myself when I was able to work (and competently) at a Humane Society, a job which ricocheted between rewarding and soul-crushing despair on an hourly basis. It gave me some confidence, but I am starting to realize that the Humane Society pales in comparison to a career in nursing.

I'm not afraid of illness or death, and am actually hoping for a career in hospice, but I have heard that most nurses are required to do orientation on an OR or ER ward and this scares me. What frightens me is not what I'll face, but that I'll fail while facing it.

So, I guess my question is this: Is it really as bad as I'm hearing? Is it always such a brutal, mad-scramble fight to make it and fit in? And if so, are their any other anxious, insecure or self-consicous individuals out there who not only made it, but made it and now love it?

I know that nobody can tell me what I can and can't do, only I can decide that. Really, I think I am just looking for some reassurance and positive feedback to counteract all the horror stories I've heard.

Thanks....