Best Smarta** answers of 2004 !

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

A member/friend just emailed these to me a little while ago (nowplaying EDRN).. and I thought they were definately postworthy !

ESPECIALLY # 5 and # 1 !!!

TOP 5 SMART A*SS ANSWERS

Smart A*ss Answer # 5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check

tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and

he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she

said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart A*ss Answer # 4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,

they're dead."

Smart A*ss Answer # 3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop

said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When

the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

ticket.

Smart A*ss Answer # 2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead

of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for

miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and

walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got

stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and

ran out of gas.

AND NOW FOR THE # 1 SMART A*SS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now

class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,

or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses

whatsoever!"

A smart A*ss guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What

would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter

sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence

is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head

and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

other hand."

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: