B.Sc.N, B.C.P. or Just forget it? Could use some advice.

[Mharren]

Hi there,

I'm a 27-year-old female whose just about to complete her B.Sc. (hon). in Biology and Psychology. I took it as pre-medical but I didn't make the grade for a shot at Medical School (B Student, basically). his post will be kinda long because I want to give someone who will read it a good idea of who I am, why I'm here asking for your advice, and give you some information to help you decide what you think of me.

I started my B.Sc. at 17, so it's been 10 years. I never took 100% course loads except for my first year and my final semester. I've always worked through the summer semesters. I will graduate with extra credit.

I had applied to nursing programs in the fall semester of the 2012-13 year, but I felt very confused, frightened, and was worried I could get accepted and not have the willpower to say no and have it turn out that I only applied as a last ditch because I had finally accepted that I could never be an M.D. I've known many nursing students because we often got thrown together in classes and I don't think I'm much like them.

I found out in my mid-twenties that I have Asperger's syndrome, which explains my impaired ability to develop relationships with my peers. I have experience in Emergency Medicine as a medic and have spent most of those times in combat-related work. I work well with patients and they give me good reviews when my supervisors have conducted inquiries. I've worked well with escalations, though I think I was responsible for some of them. For instance, I once didn't give a little boy a lollipop after his injection because he had misbehaved and I had been instructed to tell the kids "You get to pick out a lollipop if you're good!" which I took literally.

I feel confused and alone and very overwhelmed. I have my student loans to consider if I make any decisions about further education. I always expected to work in healthcare. Even when I was dead set about giving medicine my best shot, I figured if I couldn't cut it I would still end up working in medicine in some capacity that I liked.

I am very good in high-stress, fast-paced, emergency situations. I am a very emotional person but I have an ability to put it aside until an appropriate time to let it out when I need to step up and take control of a situation. I am not prone to gossip. I have a very high standard when it comes to patient care and treatment. I often find myself in a state of disapproval when I see nurses criticizing patients and/or eachother. When someone is my patient they have complete amnesty from my own personal opinions. I don't care if they are drug addicts, pedophiles, businessmen, or someone I actually know; they get the same standard of care from me. I have been useful in the ER as the person willing to go into a room and work with 'problem' patients.

I wanted to work in medicine because I feel connected to people when I am helping them and I feel like I get to see people how they really are; not the facades we all put on when we're well. I get great satisfaction from correctly diagnosing something and even more from hearing from a patient that a decision I made or something I did for them was helpful in their opinion.

But while I am very good with patients, I am not so great with peers and colleagues. I often find out that they do not care for me or that my presence is not welcome. I understand that to provide quality health care we all need to work as a team and I worry that peoples dislike of me would impair team work. There is also the issue that I personally don't like being in situations where it is clear that I am not wanted and am excluded.

I like to be fairly autonomous when I work and I have trouble adhering to orders that I feel I have valid, objective reason to qualify as not being in the best interest of the patient. It's a really terrible feeling for me to follow an order I feel is wrong.

I am considering going to school to be a paramedic, but I'm over-qualified. I think I would be a very good nurse, but I feel unsure about whether or not my intentions are sound and how realistic a choice it is.

I would appreciate input from anyone willing.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

- Mharren

[WideOpenHeart]

Hi, MHarren,

I think you will get some support here, but I really believe that if you post this where on another allnurses forum where people who are already nurses (as opposed to students) post, you will get more of the information you seek.

By the way, I'm sure you won't be the first nurse with Asperger's, or the first great nurse with Asperger's. One thing about your issue is that it's so very amenable to treatment, and even simple coaching can help you overcome many of your socialization problems.

:)