Almost done

I'm tired. I've now been a licensed nurse for one year and 4 months. I've been working in the medical field since 2004. None of it is what I thought caring for other people is suppose to be. I'm tired of having to spend more time charting and covering my a## than with my patients. In fact I don't do that, I spend most of my time with my patient and helping my tech, but my lack of through charting is staring to get me into a bit of trouble. I'm tired of getting griped at by management because I stay late to finish my job, I'm tired of having to stay late to finish my job. I'm tired of getting into trouble because I "spend to much time talking with my patinet" or because I'm "too nice". I'm tired of having so much stuff to do that I can't get it all done correctly or in the appropriate amount of time or that I'm overwhelmed enough that I miss stuff. I hate my nursing school instructors for telling us that we should not agree to take more patients than we can handle, like we would have the choice. I'm tired of having 5 really sick patients that could (and have) tried to crash on me all at once and be expected to keep up with what is going on with all of them.

The staff I work with are very good at team work, but I'm not so great a delegating nursing tasks and frankly there are just a number of RN tasks that I would rather do to my patient than let a fellow coworker do it. I'm tired of grouchy doctors that don't respond when I need their help. I'm tired of making a instution money while supplying rapid, half cocked care to patients and family. Can anyone truly think it is OK to only see your patient in 2-3 minute spouts 8 to 10 times in a shift? We are talking a max of 30 minutes of time during a shift! That is crazy! I'm tired of seeing doctors go in to patients rooms, lay their stethoscopes over their heart for 10 seconds and call it a check up, then leave after a 2 minute conversation. This is not care, this is herding cattle through the slaughterhouse.

Nursing...medicine is suppose to be about improving quality of life and comfort. Taking time to know your patient and understand their issues. The medical TEAM is suppose to work effeciently and effectively TOGETHER to provide holistic care WITHOUT sarificing their own sanity or health in the process. If nursing is what I do now, then it is not an honorable or even sane career choice. It is beyond stressful, and most of my stress never has to do with an actual patient emergency (because that is actually caring for a patient, which is what I signed up for). From what I see of 'real' nursing, I don't ever want to be taken care of by one and I'd rather die than end up in a hospital. I love my patients and I really love my job on the very far a few in betweeen days were I'm able to complete most of my work and look up everyones labs and background information and make sure that nothing has been missed. That is what an AVERAGE nursing day on the floor should be in my opinion. I can't continue going to work like this and I don't know what else to do.