Advice on changing floors
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So I've been on a tele/stepdown unit for 9 months. I've switch from day shift to night shift in an effort to make the job better for me. I have no complaints about my coworkers or my manager, but I"m still having a hard time with my job. Everytime I make a change (ie going to night shifts) I feel better for a little bit but then start to freak out again. There are some days that I go to work and it's alright and there are some days that I go to work and it is a nightmare. Both kinds of days happen pretty frequently. I always thought that I wanted to do some sort of "exciting" nursing. Like working in the ER or Critical Care area, but now I'm thinking I'm not so sure. Actually I'm not sure what to think. I worked in a very, very large ER as a tech for 4 years before becoming a nurse and was able to handle it alright. I decided when I got my nursing license that it would be wiser to start on a floor and work my way up to being an ER nurse, which I still think is a good idea. But I'm not so sure my mind can take much more of this. I'm still having panick attacks before going to work....now I'm starting to have nightmares. Like I actually wake up in a panic because of a dream, which normally I don't even have dreams. I think that it has gotten worse since I started the night shift because my sleeping is all messed up. I'm not sure I can handle night shift. I like the work load better....well at least most of the time, but not seeing the sun is messing with me. Plus I have caught my self sleeping on my way home from work! That is scary.
I guess my question is for those of you who are managers out there. I haven't gotten in trouble at work and I don't think I'm allowed to transfer until I've been there a year, but I'm not sure I can make it 3 more months. I want to go somewhere where it is slow to almost boring on a day shift. Actually I feel like I could handle a moderate amount of stress, but this whole moderate amount of stress day, then 3 high stress days, then 2 moderate stress days is wigging me out. I feel like wanting something slower is being lazy and it definatly destroys all the goals of being some critical care nurse, but my mental health is fading fast.