I was a nurse in a MICU floor as a new graduate for just over a year. After graduating first in my class from a very respected diploma program, passing my NCLEX on my first try, and being older (42), I thought I would be successful if I really put my mind to the task. Well, I could not have been more wrong! I hated my job, though I loved my patients. I found my colleagues more interested in making it harder for me than helpful. One doctor who was a leading physician on the floor was so intolerable in his arrogance and emotional abuse. I dreaded every shift and came home exhausted and feeling worthless and stupid. It seemed no matter how hard I tried, I could not get on top of all the meds, mechanics, and organization needed to succeed.
After a year and a half, I took a job outside of the hospital in an OB/GYN clinic that I loved. After marrying a man from another city, I was forced to give up this job and move, taking a job in PreSurgical Testing at a small local hospital. Once again, I ran into internal nurse politics that I could not understand and could not seem to work successfully within. I found that since my husband was a physician, many nurses resented my presence, assuming I need not work. Since I was PRN, after 1 year, I just quit picking up shifts.
It seems after all this trouble, I would just forget nursing and move on...But, I love/loved the people I tried to help. Though the politics of nursing are inbearable, the rewards of offering comfort to the dying, making the sick just a bit more comfortable, or giving words of comfort to a worried patient are precious.
I want to return to the profession in some way. I haven't practiced in 6 years, though I have kept my license current. I wonder, should I return to school for a ADN to MSN program, since I have a BS in another field? Should I take a refresher course and seek another job?
I would appreciate any advice. And thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read my lengthy saga!