cultural differences ?

MAGIK GIRL · May 24, 2005

i've worked in psych for about 6 years now, fairly new as a nurse. i'm finding that many people are drawn to this profession for a variety of reasons, but moreso that there are some real weirdos in the psych field.

judgemental. are you not in this field?

i was going to ask for some input about a certain situation:

the co-worker is asian and doesn't speak english well... this isn't a problem per se, but i'm thinking there are things that get lost in translation.

well, i can feel your pain with the translation issue. there are things you can do about this.

there are two units here detox and mh and if i'm working detox that night, i like to take my nurse to nurse calls. that is, i like to talk to the referring nurse as i'll be resuming care for that client when they arrive at detox... make sense ?

so far this makes sense.

instead this other nurse will take report if i'm occupied and won't ask enough questions, and there will be holes of information for me surrounding the incoming client.

here is the confusing part. does this other nurse have a role in caring for the patient as well?

i explained to this co-worker of mine, " oh yeah, when the hospital calls with a nurse to nurse for detox, can you please let me take the call, as i like to get the first hand scoop on what the deal is with the incoming client...? "

here is the part that is sticky. you are giving the impression that you will take a better intake than another nurse. your thread title is cultural differences...... you make the call.

she became angry and defensive and started talking about things that really didn't follow, and now pretty much all communication has broken down.

i think that anyone might want to become defensive here. i do believe you when you say you were professional.

this person makes no eye contact and looks just plain angry and basically ignores me while i'm in the same area she's in... i've tried to explain x 2 that this wasn't a personal attack and apparently i still remain on her sh*t list.... all i'm seeing is this grudge holding type behavior...

sit back and look at this sentence. the anger is there. her behavior has obviously gotten a rise out of you. not a personal attack, again the title of your thread is "cultural differences."

next step is to take it to the boss, but since i am accustomed to settling such issues like adults it feels ridiculous and working with her is plain weird now. i feel like i'm dealing with a client or something.

name calling? pouting? you make the call.

do you think this is cultural or something else?

i think it is something else.

again, my intent was not to slam you. only constructive as you stated you are new to nursing. (if i am wrong here, sorry.)

from what i see as a viewer of what you have written is anger, emotion and you appear to take it personally. again, if i am wrong, sorry. above you will see some thoughts on what the reader sees in your writing. maybe you were frustrated at the situation. but frustration is an emotion, even if you have every right to be frustrated.

no offense, but what decade of life are you in? the only reason i am asking is because i am wondering which road of life you are traveling at this point in your life.

again, good luck with your situation and i hope you can come to some happy medium with yourself and this person. maybe you can agree to disagree with me as well.

have a good one!

magik

Granted Fal · May 28, 2005

since you appear to be especially interested in my post... i'll indulge you... i didn't feel like posting this in the general milieu as i feel it detracts from the flavor the post was supposed to elicit

I've worked in psych for about 6 years now, fairly new as a nurse. I'm finding that many people are drawn to this profession for a variety of reasons, but moreso that there are some real weirdos in the psych field.

judgemental. are you not in this field?

I'm currently a GN, been an LPN for about a year, and prior to that a MH and detox case worker for about 6 years... I'm not judgemental about those i'm treating, but i tend to have somewhat of a standard i adhere to with those i work with, i.e. co-workers, able to communicate, do their paperwork and function as some kind of a team member... I've found this to be a challenge when i very first started as there are some odd people in the psych field. That's a personal opinion of mine, not judgemental. I've worked in other fields and never encountered what i've come across in the psych field. 6 staff have commit suicide since i've been employed here, several fired for intimate relations with clientele, a few fired for showing up drunk to work, at least two for stealing meds.... geez dont get me started.... If you don't agree with me about this, that's ok, but it doesn't necessarily make me judgemental...

I was going to ask for some input about a certain situation:

The co-worker is asian and doesn't speak English well... This isn't a problem per se, but i'm thinking there are things that get lost in translation.

well, i can feel your pain with the translation issue. there are things you can do about this.

The real point wasn't her English ability per se, however, I attempted to process her response as best as possible, but could only speculate that possibly her culture did play a role.

There are two units here detox and MH and if I'm working detox that night, I like to take my nurse to nurse calls. That is, I like to talk to the referring nurse as i'll be resuming care for that client when they arrive at detox... make sense ?

so far this makes sense.

instead this other nurse will take report if i'm occupied and won't ask enough questions, and there will be holes of information for me surrounding the incoming client.

here is the confusing part. does this other nurse have a role in caring for the patient as well?

No, they are separate units. Occasionally they could help out if needed, but this is generally unecessary.

I explained to this co-worker of mine, " oh yeah, when the hospital calls with a nurse to nurse for detox, can you please let me take the call, as i like to get the first hand scoop on what the deal is with the incoming client...? "

here is the part that is sticky. you are giving the impression that you will take a better intake than another nurse. your thread title is cultural differences...... you make the call.

I've worked at this facility for about 6 years and like any unit there's lots of unwritten or unspoken convetions, like taking your own nurse to nurse calls. I didn't make it clear perhaps. That is, a preference to take my own calls. She processed this like a personal attack. She stated things to the effect of, 'you go tell your wife to do that....' and

' oh, you gonna be some big RN or somethin.....' and became very defensive. There was no way I could bridge the way to communication, and she was yelling at me... My reply was basically: I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I feel you are making this something it isn't. I again reiterated the intent of my request: that is it's just a preference and to some extent a convetion.

She became angry and defensive and started talking about things that really didn't follow, and now pretty much all communication has broken down.

i think that anyone might want to become defensive here. i do believe you when you say you were professional.

I didn't ask this in a derogatory fasion or sarcastically. See the above response pertaining to some of this nurses loaded responses [i/]

This person makes no eye contact and looks just plain angry and basically ignores me while i'm in the same area she's in... i've tried to explain x 2 that this wasn't a personal attack and apparently i still remain on her sh*t list.... all i'm seeing is this grudge holding type behavior...

sit back and look at this sentence. the anger is there. her behavior has obviously gotten a rise out of you. not a personal attack, again the title of your thread is "cultural differences."

I was attempting to illustrate the black/white nature of this individual. I suspected she has some feelings of inadequacy for not being an RN, and I just graduated. I don't say this as a pump to my ego or anything, however, she seemed focused on telling my her experience as an LPN. I attempted to explain to her that I wasn't doubting her experience, and that a lot of the nurses preferred to take their unit referral calls ( even the nurse that trained her and the supervisor told her this as she spoke with them about it), but this wasn't acceptable to her and she was shouting over me as I was attempting to communicate with her... I pointed out to her that she was yelling at me and appeared angry ( reflective) she said she was 'holding her ground' This style of interaction/communication may well be cultural for her, i'm not sure... (ergo the post title) Then what she said tripped me out. She claimed that I had called her at her house and asked her to work part time so someone else could work or something like that... I replied I had no idea what she was talking about then, she became angry again and starting shouting and saying: oh... you call me a liar, u think I'm mental deficit or something..... :uhoh3: I then took it to the boss, as this was getting a little strange.

next step is to take it to the boss, but since i am accustomed to settling such issues like adults it feels ridiculous and working with her is plain weird now. I feel like i'm dealing with a client or something.

name calling? pouting? you make the call.

I have started to learn to meet people at their level of functioning in this field when it comes to employees if there seems to be a problem, and of course with clientele I have no expectations, but you have to admit there has to be some kind of standard we adhere to in the work place. I'm very direct and shouting matches aren't my style. After this transpired I couldn't communicate with her, e.g. her behavior of no eye contact. no response from her if I talked to her about work related issues, or simply greeted her. She totally refused to answer the unit phone at all, her calls or mine...

do you think this is cultural or something else?

i think it is something else.

I agree, I believe this is all axis II passive aggressive behavior she's exhibiting, normally I would call a person on this type of behavior so we could work throught it together, but her reaction precluded a problem solving approach. I'm blowing a little steam by discussing it in a forum not related to my place of employment... But this doesn't mean I'm any of the above things you are implying...

again, my intent was not to slam you. only constructive as you stated you are new to nursing. (if i am wrong here, sorry.)

I've been in this field a good while now a year as a nurse and now i'm a GN...

from what i see as a viewer of what you have written is anger, emotion and you appear to take it personally. again, if i am wrong, sorry. above you will see some thoughts on what the reader sees in your writing. maybe you were frustrated at the situation. but frustration is an emotion, even if you have every right to be frustrated.

there's frustration for sure, I don't see how I could have handled it any different or more professionally then i did, so i'm venting to see if i could get any constructive suggestions *like the guy made with the standardized call in sheet, that was a suggestion with a problem solving approach to the matter, he saw the problem at hand* it appears that you are only focused on the possibility that this is my problem... I'm hoping this will clarify the situation for you... this situation was untenable for me especially when you have to work with someone you sense is angry with you and basically non-responsive to you and begins to raise their voice with you if you attempt to open a line of communication....

no offense, but what decade of life are you in? the only reason i am asking is because i am wondering which road of life you are traveling at this point in your life.

this is inconsequential to my post or this situation in my opinion...

again, good luck with your situation and i hope you can come to some happy medium with yourself and this person. maybe you can agree to disagree with me as well.

I told this person that, "we'll be talking to the boss after report today..." and she again became angry ... regardless... when we met with the supervisor, i told her the same thing i said initially when all this started. The supervisor remained neutral but did affirm the convetion of taking the calls. I set the firm boundary that it isn't ok to yell at me, especially in front of other staff. we hashed over the weird phone call thing again.. and it basically boiled down to her wounded ego... which i feel is related to something entirely else beside this issue with the phone calls. You have to admit this is all blown a little out of proportion for a simple request don't you? Butb people try to make things into what they aren't for some reason... I told her my actions on the unit are a matter of 'principles before personalities' ( a basic AA tenet ) and that my intention of receiving report is to provide the best care i can for the incoming client, all this that ensued appeared to based on her personality issues. I apologized if I had offended her but had no intention of doing so ( giving her some face ) The boss told her, she didn't have to like me, but did need to communicate with me to be able to function. I have no qualms or anything, but she appears to still have some residual problems with the situation...

have a good one!

hope that clears it up for you, if you have any constructive suggestions i may have tried to deal with the situation or addressing the problem at hand, let me know.... cya

magik

MAGIK GIRL · May 29, 2005

since you appear to be especially interested in my post... i'll indulge you... i didn't feel like posting this in the general milieu as i feel it detracts from the flavor the post was supposed to elicit
next step is to take it to the boss, but since i am accustomed to settling such issues like adults it feels ridiculous and working with her is plain weird now. I feel like i'm dealing with a client or something.
i think it is something else.
I agree, I believe this is all axis II passive aggressive behavior she's exhibiting, normally I would call a person on this type of behavior so we could work throught it together, but her reaction precluded a problem solving approach. I'm blowing a little steam by discussing it in a forum not related to my place of employment... But this doesn't mean I'm any of the above things you are implying...
again, my intent was not to slam you. only constructive as you stated you are new to nursing. (if i am wrong here, sorry.)
I've been in this field a good while now a year as a nurse and now i'm a GN...
again, good luck with your situation and i hope you can come to some happy medium with yourself and this person. maybe you can agree to disagree with me as well.
I told this person that, "we'll be talking to the boss after report today..." and she again became angry ... regardless... when we met with the supervisor, i told her the same thing i said initially when all this started. The supervisor remained neutral but did affirm the convetion of taking the calls. I set the firm boundary that it isn't ok to yell at me, especially in front of other staff. we hashed over the weird phone call thing again.. and it basically boiled down to her wounded ego... which i feel is related to something entirely else beside this issue with the phone calls. You have to admit this is all blown a little out of proportion for a simple request don't you? Butb people try to make things into what they aren't for some reason... I told her my actions on the unit are a matter of 'principles before personalities' ( a basic AA tenet ) and that my intention of receiving report is to provide the best care i can for the incoming client, all this that ensued appeared to based on her personality issues. I apologized if I had offended her but had no intention of doing so ( giving her some face ) The boss told her, she didn't have to like me, but did need to communicate with me to be able to function. I have no qualms or anything, but she appears to still have some residual problems with the situation...
have a good one!
hope that clears it up for you, if you have any constructive suggestions i may have tried to deal with the situation or addressing the problem at hand, let me know.... cya
magik

this does clear it up for me. thank you. i still want to wish you well and this has been fun. stimulating conversation is always a good thing. hope it all works out well with the boss. catch ya later,

magik