Okay, so I am going to try to sum this up in the most efficient way possible...
I am on my last semester of pre-reqs and am also in the process of filling out apps to FL schools (BSN programs) for fall 2013. I initially got into nursing because I thought I wanted to be involved in medicine, but was not interested in being a doctor. I am an extremely nurturing person and enjoy taking care of others. I liked the idea that nursing felt more tangible to me - fewer prerequisites than MD, and only 2 years of school after pre-reqs. Also, I really felt that nursing would be more suited to my personal goals in life that are non-career related (like having a family, etc.).
So here is my problem: Half of the time, I am so into being a nurse. The other half, I am desperately looking for another major.
When I am volunteering (at a local hospital), I see what the nurses actually do, and I am so confident. For a volunteer, I get A LOT of patient interaction, and help the nurses with anything they ask. I'm not crazy about all of the aspects of bedside nursing (cranky families, customer service, etc.) but I believe I could do it with a smile on my face because, in my experience, there are a few patients whose wonderful attitude and appreciation make up for a lot of the negativity (I have met some WONDERFUL patients who I know I will never forget!). I should point out, though, that this is just my observation and initial thought based on what I have seen.
Here's where my confidence gets ruined:
- I cannot stand my pre-requisites. I have had A+P I and II online, and am currently taking Micro and Sociology online. Doing my A+P work online excited me just as much as getting a root canal would. I managed to get As in both (for the lecture and lab portions), but man was it a pain! I feel exactly the same way about Micro, and luckily Sociology is easy and painless. My main worry here is that I feel like I should enjoy A+P and Micro - isn't science the foundation of nursing? Could I feel this way because of the online experience, rather than having had a live class?
- I live in FL, and I hear about the horrible job possibilities and low wages (especially on AN). I would hope that, after graduation, I could seek help through family/friends/past volunteer supervisors to help me find a job since I have heard that knowing people can greatly improve your chances. But, isn't it sad that it comes down to knowing people? I just don't want to go through nursing school and come out of it jobless.
-I don't know if Nursing is for me anymore, but sometimes I think that I have just psyched myself out. I find hope in the fact that, when I browse other majors and careers, I always come back to Nursing. But, I know that Nursing school will take a lot of dedication and study hours. At this point, I am so confused and I am afraid that my heart's not in it. After all, when I am up to my neck in hw, I often cannot even remember why I truly wanted to be a nurse in the first place. That complicates things application-wise (essays often include a question like that).
The bottom line is, I am having these feelings and I feel like I am alone. I can't tell if this indecisiveness (which is so not like me) is simply from the stress, long pre-requisite process, and reading too many AN articles (just the truth lol), or if I have a serious problem on my hands.
Even on my worst days, I tell myself to see where I get accepted and to give it a try. If I honestly hate nursing school, at least I can say I followed through and gave it an honest try. I would rather know and have hindsight then to pass up the chance and think "what if?" So I'm thinking that's my path for now.
Any comments/advice would be great, especially if you have gone through this, or know any nurses who did.