Nursing school admissions essay too long or wordy? Any feedback is great.

  1. Whowould want to become a nurse? We all know that nursing is a field that is concernedwith helping others, yet I believe that in becoming a nurse, a person needsmore than just desire to succeed. Youhave to have make plans, and goals and then take steps to toward executing themwith succession. Throughout my life, I've seen different kinds of people inpoverty, may it be infants, children, the elderly, the disabled. I was born andraised in Jamaica, where poverty is very evident. Every day I would see peopleon the streets begging others for money that they can use to provide food andaide their ailing relatives. Seeing themand wanting to help them, yet I didn't know how, since I was just a child. Itwasn't until I moved here, to the United States that I realized how othercountries, third world countries, like Jamaica, is in great need of healthservices and to lend a helping hand. It made me more aware of the situation andnow that I am more mature, I know that I could do my part. I can help, I cangive back.
    I took a stance and became a volunteer forWyoming Valley Habitat for Humanity, a nonprofit organization that helpsprovide affordable housing a reality for low income families in need. I am alsomember of the Junior Volunteer Program at Pocono Medical Center, the localhospital in my hometown of Stroudsburg, PA and former member of the Key Club, acommunity service program for high school students. Witnessing the immensedifference I can make in my community and after a few years of attendingcollege, with an unsure career path or sense of accomplishment, I decided Iwanted to become a nurse. I applied to Wilkes-Barre Area Career and Technicalschool Practical Nursing Program and was accepted. With hard work,determination, attending classes five days per week for 8 hours each day,numerous clinical hours as well as studying, writing numerous nursing careplans, along with working as a nursing assistant full time and supporting myself. I graduated inJune 2011 as a proud practical nurse.

    I currently work as a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) for Little Sistersof the Poor (LSOP). I assist LSOP in their mission of hospitality by welcomingthe elderly poor, making them happy and providing quality nursing care for themuntil death. As a LPN, my purpose is to provide nursing care to those that are ill, unableto perform activities of daily living, hospice to those that are actively dyingandsupport to family members. be attentive; sensitive to the patients needs and have a drive toaddress those needs, advocate for them and collaborate with other staff membersto provide quality care. Nursing allows for leadership and growth and the simple fact of knowing that I am helping others every day gives me a senseof accomplishment and purpose. I am a thoughtful,caring, honest, who have experienced the birth of a newlife, growth, aging and death. I'm a competent and knowledgeable nurse who believes nursing is a constantevolving field and allows for opportunity tolearn something new every day. There are many avenuesin nursing to purse professionalism and I'm eager to continue my education totransition from the role of LPN to a Registered Nurse (RN). I am enrolled incourses at the Community College of Allegheny County aimed towards my goal of continuingmy education to become a RN. With my experience as a LPN I am mentally,physically, emotionally and academically prepared toembark on this journey and attending Western Pennsylvania School of Nursing RNdiploma program will help me achieve my goal and continue to grow as a nurse.

    I have read exceptionally wonderful thingsabout the Western Pennsylvania diploma nursing program and the excellence ofthe nurses. The program curriculum is challenging with a vast amount ofclinical experience. The staff is highly educated, challenges and works witheach student to help them succeed. The classes are smaller than yourtraditional University RN programs and will provide the quality education thatI need.Mydetermination, passion, qualities as well as experience will reflect on myability to prosper throughout the nursing program. Upon graduation, I am confident I will be equipped with theknowledge, critical thinking skills, and competency to pass the NCLEX-RN andwork a competent and knowledgeable nurse and be proud to say I graduated fromWestern Pennsylvania School of Nursing. I will also continue to share mypassion for nursing, give back to my community and hopefully inspire others tochoose this challenging yet fulfilling profession.

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    Joined: Aug '12; Posts: 4